Friday, November 12, 2010

They Understand!


I went  to my first "Compassionate Friends" group tonight and I have finally found a group of people who knew where I'm coming from. This is a group of people that have lost a child or grandchild of any age. Needless to say many of the stories ripped my heart out. There were people at the group that had lost there child anywhere from 4 months to 20 + years.  I asked a question stating "I say I believe in God,' but could not understand why as I prayed for Chris' life he was taken from me anyway. I expressed that I was angry that God did not answer my prayers, when I know He has answered others.  I was definitely not the only one that struggled with this.Some people said it may take years to reconcile the issue, but God  would be patient and not angry at me. This did not mean my faith wasn't great enough and it wasn't because of me that Chris had died. They reassured me that I was still very early in my recover and I was not strange because I would sometimes get lost in my own city. They talked about how losing a child is different than any other type of loss you can have. I could see how hard on myself I have been. This healing is a slow process and you will NEVER be the same again. I found comfort in knowing that I'm not just some "nut job".
Next month they are going to have a candle light service for the children. They will show a slide show of all the children that have been loss and we can invite a friend. I will see if my sister in law will come to help me honor my beloved Chris. I am very glad I found this group. It is a national group and I highly recommend it to anyone that has lost a child.

PS. I thought this post was lost, because it was what I was working on when my computer bit the dust.

3 comments:

June_Butterfly said...

I'm so happy for you.Wanda!I know lots of people love you!But the only people who can truly know and understand your pains are the ones who have been there.I'm so glad that you found people you can relate with.

Hope all of you can find comfort with each other.And I'm glad this post wasn't lost!

NOS said...

I am so glad you've found a community that understands you and can relate! That must have felt comforting in itself. And no, you are not a nut job. Loss is HARD and it takes time to heal. Of course, you know this.

I'm glad you'll be participating in the candle lighting service. You are such a good mom. And a good person.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Dreaming again said...

I'm glad you found a group. The one I went to after Jessica had me so unnerved I never went back.

(but, you know how I feel about that kind of thing lol)

Hey ... don't suppose you'd be willing to do some hand holding? I'm supposed to go to a suicide survivors conference next weekend (assignment for class) I don't have the nerve to go alone and am willing to forgo the 25 pts before going by myself ...

if you're not up to it, do NOT feel obligated, I've got a high enough grade the 25 pts won't make much difference.