My psychiatrist is adjusting my mood stabilizer because he thinks I am in a "mixed episode." He feels that is why I am not sleeping, I know this is not my typical manic episode, because I am not having fun. I am adjusting the medicine for two days and if still not sleeping again on the third day. I have to see him again in one week. I am just hoping I will start sleeping again, This is really getting old.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Why are some people so mean? My daughter recently stopped blogging and close her face book account because of mean hateful statements. I was shocked at some of the statements. Here are some of them.
- Why don't you f*** off and die
- You are a waste of space
- You are not even a girl you are an "it"
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Child abuse is one of the most horrific things that can happen to a child. The person is forever changed. How damaged am I? I don't know that words can express the damage that has been done. I have seen and read others stories and they seem to have totally healed. I have read others who are more deeply effected than myself. Yet I know that it effects my entire being and myself worth almost daily. Yes I have healed some. I want to reach out to those that wounds are still raw and opened.
What keeps me going? A hope for a better tomorrow. My faith in God that total healing and restoration will one day be mine. Not only for myself but for all that have suffered at the hands of an abuser. Some day we will see things clearly without the tint of this earthly pain. I am convinced that this story is not over yet and I will help other through tremendous losses.
I chose life and hope.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Our church has started "life groups" and I joined a group on Sunday. I think it is going to be a good experience. There are about 12 people in the group. We eat together and have a short Bible study and pray for each other. I am kind of shy so I didn't say to much in the group, but I think it is going to be good for me to make more friends.
I am going to try and go to Compassionate Friends group Thursday night. It is a group for those that have lost a child. I haven't been in several months,but am feeling the need to go.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Friday, September 09, 2011
Suicide Prevention Day
September 10, 2011
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
Sunday, September 04, 2011
Friday, September 02, 2011
The best part of my life has been the last few years. I have found a community of people that truly care through my church. We all need someone from time to time to lean on. With a history of abuse it is so hard to let your defenses down and let someone in your life. It sometimes seems safer not to let anyone close to you. That is such a lonely way to live. We were not meant to live life isolated. I'm grateful that I am finally comfortable enough with myself to let some other people get close to me. Blogging is also a great way to meet people and open up your heart for friendship. I have met so many people through blogging that I truly care about. It is a wonderful way to meet and care for others.
Thursday, September 01, 2011
This song keeps going through my head because it has been a Manic Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. My daughter and I did a 6 hour road trip at 3 AM today and I still haven't been to sleep. I been getting less that 2 hours sleep for the last several days. I not really tired, but know what is to come later. Oh well this too shall pass. It just part of being me!