Saturday, June 27, 2009

When Will The Pain End

It is so hard to believe 12 years of sexual abuse from childhood still controls my life. The pain is so real today. I hurt to the point of being physically ill. Nothing has stopped the pain. I cut, it is only a short distraction. Are there people that can never heal? Never sleep without the nightmare? So much money must go to the healing process, that poverty is my way of life. I read on another blog that if mental ill people would just let Jesus in everything would be okay. I do believe in Jesus, but my pain is still REAL! I remember telling my doctor. I thought you could not have PTSD and be bi-polar. She smiled at me and told me she was the doctor and I am text book classic of both. My feeling are running so deep and the pain is so real, I just had to post.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Won't Give Up!

I won't give up! What ever it takes! I'm anger now. Yes I feel something ,so I have something to work with.

Monday, June 22, 2009

One Day at a Time

I was able to visit some blog yesterday and catch up on some of my friends. It was good. I ran out of energy,so I had to stop. I'm on all new meds. They are talking about ECT. My bi-polar is still not under control. They say I MUST start working on the PTSD stuff if I going to get any better. I exhausted. Thank everyone for being there for me!

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Been in the Hospital

I just got out of the hospital. They where trying to make medication adjustments. I still feel really bad,but my doctors out of town until Monday. I haven't been this out of control in years. Please continue to remember me.