Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Nothing Fits

I lost quite a bit of weight after Chris died. As the weather has been cooling off I noticed I did not have a single winter top and only two pair of blue jeans. Money is always tight when you live on disability, but with the car repairs it just about wiped me out. I found myself another pair of nice jeans for $6.99 and a real pretty pink three quarter length selves sweater for $4.99.  I like the bright color tops, even though I'm no spring chicken. I also love bargains. I will check out some consignment stores tomorrow, since there are suppose to be some "great sales". I think I need at least 2 more tops and maybe one pair of dress slacks. I still find myself trying on clothes that are really big and baggy. I guess in time that will change.

I am really believing this Lupus flare up is really trying to hold on. The steroids are not helping the pain at all. I may be trying to push it too much. My friend in OK City said she was having the first flare up in two years and she also know someone else that is having a flare. Weather changes and stress are most likely why I am having the  problem..

Tomorrow I going to a support group called Compassionate Friends. It is for the parents of those that  have lost a child regardless of the age of the child. I'm a little nervous because I'm sure I will cry. I think I need to know what is "normal" after losing a child. I get upset at myself because I still cry so often about losing Chris.  I also find  that I worry so much about Alice now.I have always been very close to my children, but I don't want to "smother" Alice' I just really love my children.  I think I'm still in shock to some degree. I know someday Alice, Chris and I are all going to be together again at Jesus' feet.

7 comments:

RCUBEs said...

I hope you get to find something you really like and that fits you! I don't like to shop. Only when my clothes start fading or if I lose or gain weight, too :)

Take care sister and always be strong in His mighty power! May His healing and protection always cover you.

June_Butterfly said...

Nothing fits me,too.Not because I lost weight but because I gained it.*sigh*I guess we're bith in a dilemna.

Really hope some meds truly work for you,soon.Body pains sure can ruin a day.

Wanda,i think there'S nothing that can be normal after losing a child.Something will always be missing.But as one hope ,one gains strength to move on.

NOS said...

Hey! My post today is about clothes/shopping too! What a coincidence. I think I know what you're talking about with the sizing issue. It can be touchy.

I'm sorry your Lupus has been bothering you so much. Hopefully it will get better when your body adjusts to the cold. I don't know much about Lupus, but I know it can't be fun. I'm sorry.

I think it's great that you are going to that support group! I really hope it is helpful and that you meet some people who can relate. I'm sure you will.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Sophia said...

Lovely Wanda, I'm in the same boat. With my liver condition, I've lost a ton of weight as well and now am limited to 2 pairs of pants and a couple of sweaters.

I know this support group tomorrow might be hard but it will be good for you. I have a friend going through a "loss class" and the first couple were tough and tearful but now they are glad that have joined it.

hang in there. Loving you all the way! :) Hugs!

Just Be Real said...

My dear one, praying that the right clothes you find will appeal to you. Blessings.

Dreaming again said...

Friend in OKC ...
CS?
need to tell her my niece is getting married :)
with all that's gone on, I'm getting to be mother of the bride! Something I never thought I'd get to do when we lost Jessica and then had 2 boys.

God has very strange ways of answering a hearts desire sometimes ... one day, we'll understand it all.

Wanda's Wings said...

Yes it was CS. Talked with her on line.