Monday, December 31, 2012

Destruction to Glory

2012 was a year bent on destruction of my family. God had other plans. In the Spring I was rushed to the hospital with chest pain and shortness of breath. My heart was in a rapid, unstable rhythm. They say I was "lucky" to have come in to the hospital.

Alice back continued to deteriorate. She was placed on a 5lb weight lifting restriction and told she could not fall again. Our church hear this and built a ramp to allow her access to and from the house.

Alice fell and was paralyzed from her waist down. She had emergency surgery and was given a 20% chance of walking again. Many prayers went up and she can walk with her walker today. 

I almost died from a rare post op complication. As I was taken to the hospital I kept saying I just need to rest. I am glad someone made me go to the hospital.

Friday, December 28, 2012

It's Cold Outside

 It's cold outside! We saw our first snow flakes today but none stayed on the ground. The wind chill is now down in the teens. Tonight we will have actual temperatures in the teens and wind chills in the single digits.  It's just better to stay in as much as possible. I still need to take down the Christmas decorations. I guess I have to New Years Day. Nothing much is going on. Just a short note to let everyone know I'm okay.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas!


Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Heart Of Christma

Despite a disappointing weekend of  "no shows" I feel a peace within my spirit. There has been a lot of pain this holiday season, but goodness out weighs the bad in the world. Most people show the heart of Christmas which can best be described as love. When we look for the meaning of Christmas we can see it in the hearts of those that give of them self. Jesus was a gift of love and we need to be filled with that spirit. MERRY CHRISTMAS to all my friends and may the love of Christmas fill your hearts!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


I'm so excited. My brother said he was coming down this weekend from Indy. I haven't seen him since Chris' memorial service. I have so much to do! I'm like a little kid.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Christmas Is Coming

The weather has been so warm (60) that it has been hard to believe Christmas is just around the corner. Alice and I have spent a couple of nights looking at Christmas lights. The first night we went to Rhema  Bible College. They have one of the largest light displays in the nation (over 2 million lights). It was beautiful. Alice has a video clip on her blog. They now have horse and buggy rides, hot chocolate, and funnel cakes. We have been going there since the kids were young. It sure has grown over the last 30 years. You can see it on YouTube.

Tonight we just went in the neighborhood around our house. There were a lot of beautiful homes. It was nice just spending the time with Alice.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Medication Change

I saw my psychiatrist today and he said he was not surprised that I was depressed. He said that when he adjusted the mood stabilizer he knew the next step would be the antidepressant. He increased the antidepressant today and wanted to make sure I was seeing my therapist. Sometimes I so wish I weren't bipolar. Having PTSD and bipolar makes it so hard to keep all my medicine adjusted. I not only take medication from my psychiatrist but several other doctors. I feel like a walking pill box!

On another note someone left a Christmas present on  our front door step. There was no card to say who it was from so it is a total unexpected gift. There is God hidden in so many things. Alice had her mammogram today and the told her everything looked good.   

Monday, December 03, 2012

Glasses And Such

I got my eyes checked about 6 months ago and was written a script for glasses. I finally went to get fitted today. The lady that was assisting me couldn't believe I had never had glasses before. I not only need glasses but I need bifocals! There were so many frames to choose from. Some were so expensive. I choose a simple pink wire framed pair. My friend that went with me suggested I get a light tint on the lens. I had no idea what I was doing. It seemed like everything cost extra, but I wanted to get these put on this years insurance claim to save me some money. You can really spend a ton on glasses. I am hoping I don't loose or break them. I have been terribly hard on my reading glasses. Well this was my first time so excuse my book on the story.

On to other things. I saw my therapist today. She is concerned about my depression. She suggested I find a way to be around animals some each week. Right now my car is out of commission until I can afford to get it fixed. I hoping on payday I'll have enough to fix it.  Without a car you are kind of limited on what you can do.

The tree is up and the wreath is on the front door. I wanted to put lights on the ramp, but I guess that will have to wait until next year. I am really working on being in the Christmas spirit. It is just so hard after you lose a child. I am so thankful for everyone support right now. You all mean so much to me.

Saturday, December 01, 2012

December 1, 2012

  It's December 1 ,2012 and the  days are quickly approaching Christmas day. People are busy, decorating, buying gifts, and Holiday planning. These days can be hard for some people. I know I am struggling. I want so much to just enjoy the season, but painful memories seem to get in the way. Even trying to think of the real meaning of Christmas can be difficult. During these happy, joyful times let us try to remember those that struggle through these days.