Saturday, September 05, 2009

Sleep

Seems all I can do for the past few days is sleep. I am so depressed I can not stand to be awake to think about anything. I will do just about anything right now to not think. I keep crying and I hate that. I do that alone where no one can see me. Why can I not accept that things may always be this away. I hate my mood swings. I hate the side effects of my medicine. Right now I just want to stop crying.

12 comments:

Just Be Real said...

Dear one I am here sitting with you. I pray that things will not always be this way!

((((Wanda))))

Lily Strange said...

I'm with you on this. I'm not crying much but all I can do is sleep.
Thank you for your kindness in spite of your pain. It means a lot. I really hope you find some solace.

Wonderingsoul said...

Oh Wanda ((((((W)))))))
I'm so sorry you are feeling so horribly low. Your words resonate so deeply in me.
I understand the awful power that depression has to paralyse ad silence all that allows you to live. I know the pain of consciousness when things feel so dark and desperate.
Please know that you are not alone.
You are being listened to and you are loved.


Try to keep writing here Wanda.
Don't try to accept that it will be like this forever.
It won't.
Nothing stays the same forever and depression, although sometimes a lifelong battle, never stays exactly the same.
I hear the hopelessness though. I have it too.

Hang in there.
Sitting with you.

X

RCUBEs said...

Lifting you up in prayer that our Greatest Comforter surround you with His loving arms. God bless you.

Dreaming again said...

I'm so sorry. I wish I had the magic words to make it all go away.But all I can say is that I agree ..it sucks.

love and prayers ...
Pk

Mike Golch said...

Dear friend,you have just Be real on one side of you and I'm sitting on the other side.we are here to comfort you.

Raine said...

(((((((Wanda)))))) it will get better. I cant say when exactly but it will. Thats the one good thing about being bi-polar. No mood is permanent

NOS said...

Wanda, I'm terribly sorry you're feeling this way. If I had the power, I would take away your pain in an instant. Although it's extremely difficult to believe the depression and crying will stop. I'm sending you love and hugs and anything else you may need. You're the best, Wanda, and I want to see you happy.

<3 NOS

KAT said...

I'm sending you big {{{HUGS}}} !!

I am so sorry for you and I hope things look up for you soon. I have been in your place with no job, and the depression does set in...try to find another outlet for your time right now, something to take up some free time, and get you out of bed.
You need something to look forward to, even if it is only a silly craft project.

I have some ideas if you are willing??

Take care my sweet friend,
Kat

Prayer Girl said...

Acceptance is not an easy thing. Something that makes it a little easier for me is when I remember I don't have to like something to accept it.

I have learned that:
What is - is
What was - was
What ain't - ain't

Love and prayers,
PG

sarah said...

I wish I could make you feel better. I wish I could take away the mood swings. I wish you didn't have to go through them. I can't take them away but I can pray for you. Feel better ok. Sarah

'Tart said...

Sending loves your way, Wanda.

I am with you, frankly, it sucks. I too am having crying jags, and fear that this illness is flat out going to steal my life. I am afraid and walking in the dark. But I am so thankful to 'bump' into you, so to speak, and I very much understand many of the things you are talking about. There are better moments, and I so believe that there must be hope. I'm telling you all this because I know you'll understand.
Sincerely,
Tart