Sometimes things can be really hard to deal with. You wonder why you must go through somethings. Life can feel unfair. I believe that everything fits into a bigger plan. We may not see the answer at the time. We may not see it this side of heaven. I have to believe God is in control. Life happens, both good and bad. You chose if you will get better or bitter. As I have continued to grow I have sometimes questioned, Why? Today I feel that all that I have been through has made me a strong person. I also feel I am very understanding and able to see other people's pain. Through my pain I can help others. I can listen and be there for others. Never give up!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
It is such a beautiful day. The sun is shinning and birds are singing. There are even some robins red breast out. That means spring is just around the corner. We have had such a mild winter. I hope that doesn't mean 110 degree summer. It's just too nice of a day to worry about anything. Happy weekend to everybody and enjoy yourself!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
On the another note is the price of gas! The last few days it has been going up about seven cents every other day. I am afraid this is going to cause everything else to go up in price. We really need a break in the economy.
I think I have the world moodiest cat. She can be purring up a storm while you pet her, then she will turn and bite you. She is such a strange cat but I love her.
Ugh, I think I'm having problems with my lap top! It locked up awhile a go and now I'm having trouble shutting down. I hope it's not anything serious, because I sure don't have the money to replace it.Happy hump day everyone
Monday, February 20, 2012
I used to hate Mondays, but now I can look at things differently. It is just a new day and a new beginning.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Why is emotional pain so much harder to deal with than physical pain? You can talk to yourself, read God's Word, try to sing a song, and yet it comes at you like a ragging river. The thoughts seem to come from a foreign place, a dark place inside your head. False guilt engulfs you. You think of things that you could have, or should have done better. You start to believe everything that has happen is some how your fault. Therapy and music seems to help you escape for a short period of time.Then the tears hit you. You cry a river and sadness over whelms you. You are getting better, but there is so much yet to over come.You know you are healing, but it seems so slow. With God's help, therapy, and time you will be whole.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
I really enjoyed the time with my friends. It was good to have no responsibility for the last few days. I feel my mood is beginning to improve and I am less depressed than I have been. The new medication seems to be helping. We are still not at a therapeutic dose, but I am encouraged and more hopeful than I have been in months. I am going to keep busy this weekend to help with my mood.
I want to thank everybody for all the encouragement they have given me. I am so thankful for all my cyber friends. Today it is easier to see all the things I have to be thankful for. My therapist has encourage me to make a gratitude journal. I think here is a great place to do it.
- I am thankful for all my friends that have stood beside me in thick and thin.
- I am thankful for my loving daughter Alice,
- I am thankful for the time I had with Chris.
- I am thankful for enough food to eat.
- I am thankful for my home.
- I am thankful for my psychiatrist and therapist.
- I am thankful for my extended family.
- I am thankful that God loves me in spite of all my faults.
- I am thankful that my car is still running.
- I am thankful that I got a small tax return and did not have to pay the government.
Saturday, February 04, 2012
As anyone knows that has been following my blog knows I have been really struggling with depression. I am going to spend some time with a friend and take a short break from the everyday life. I think this would be good for me and it sure beats going to the hospital again. My therapist strongly suggested I take a break to avoid going to the hospital. This will give the medicine time to work and build up to a therapeutic level in my blood stream. I will be off line for a while, so don't worry about me. Thanks everybody for your encouragement and support.
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
I wasn't going to blog until I felt better, but at this point I'm not sure when that is going to be. I see my doctor today and hope he can give me some answer as to when I can expect the medicine to help. This has been the longest time I have gone feeling this depressed in a long time. It's hard to hold on to any hope, but that is what I must do. I am trying to be grateful for what is right in my life, it's just really hard when you are in the black hole of depression.