Saturday, November 26, 2011

Did Anyone Black Friday Shop?

Well did anyone do the black Friday shopping thing? If so did you get any of the wonderful deals? In days gone by I have done the madness, but not this year. I guess I just to old for that kind of thing! My idea of black Friday is rest and clean up from the day before. Boring.I know. LOL I guess that is what I have become in my mature years.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Keeping It Together

I am trying to keep it together for everybody else on this Thanksgiving holiday. I'm cooking, having guests, and everything else that you are suppose to do. But my heart is deeply sadden without Chris here to enjoy the season. Thanksgiving was one of his favorite times. He loved the turkey and green bean casserole. He always wanted a turkey leg. This year I don't think anyone else will.  I miss my baby so badly, but don't want to spoil the day for everyone else. Why is my heart breaking so? Memories are still so painful. He had such a beautiful smile it just would light up the room. I'm really hurting on the inside.

Friday, November 18, 2011

What Is Everybody Cooking?

I'm planning Thanksgiving dinner for my daughter and two guests. I was just checking with everybody else to see what on their Thanksgiving menu. Here is what I'm planning
  1. Turkey
  2. Stuffing
  3. Candie yams
  4. Fruit salade
  5. Green bean casarole
  6. Punkin pie
  7. Ice cream

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Finally Slept

I finally slept some last night and feel a tiny bit better. I need sleep so desperately. I need to get some rest so I can attack what life is throwing at me. I feel like I'm in a fog. Sleep deprivation is a real pain in the behind.

On brighter news I had lunch with a couple of friends from church.   We went to Ihop and had the senior special omelet. It sure was yummy. It sure is nice to have friends to share with.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Sleep Refuses To Come

Heaviness weighs on and sleep refuses to come
Loneliness hovers like a invited friend
Problems fill the mind with a painful dread
The day's busy thoughts fight to control my head
Darkness fills the room and confusion  rushes in
Time appears to come to a halt in the dead of the night
But the clocks ticking resounds filling my head
 Tossing and turning, but no comfort is found
Praying for morning and dawns welcome light

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Blogger's Block

I think I have blogger's block. I'm not sure if it's because I am depressed and just hate to let out those emotions or what. I don't want to stop blogging and just disappear like so many blogs do, but I am really struggling to know if there is anything else left to say or if this is going to pass in time. Blogging has always helped me express my feeling in a safe environment. I enjoy reading what others are thinking and feeling. Right now I feel sad and alone. I have always wanted my blog to be a place to share, encourage others, and a place of healing. I want my blog to be a hopeful place. I just so tired right now mentally and physically. I just can't give up. I will continue to write and share no matter how difficult it is.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Remembering Those That Have Given So Much

Happy Veterans Day
I just want to say I am so thankful for all that have given so much .
Today we enjoy freedom to live in the worlds greatest country. We have so much to be thankful for. To all that have served and the families that have given so much. Thank you!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Missing Love One Over The Holidays

I'm going to a support group tonight for parents that have lost  a child. I've been struggling and hope to get a boast of strength from the meeting. I want to make this a good Holiday season for Alice. We are planing on having one guest for Thanksgiving. I want to make it special for Alice. She is so excited. We always had a big dinner on Thanksgiving and put up a  Christmas tree that night. Last year Alice was across the country and I spent the day at a friends house so I would not be alone. Things just aren't the same with Chris gone. I miss him so much. It's like it was yesterday on some days.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Oklahoma Earthquack

Oklahoma had it biggest earthquake ever. A 5.6. I know that might not sound like much but for Oklahoma it was a "big one". Our mobile home really shook and the sound was like a big truck or train was right on top of us.  We didn't know what it was and all my area got was the after shock. There was some damage to some homes and roads. It is just so rare here. We didn't have any damage, but my friend in Oklahoma City had some minor damage.

Friday, November 04, 2011

Therapist Wanted To Admit Me

I'm not sleeping again and my thoughts are running to the dark side again. My therapist thought I might need to be in the hospital again for a short term stabilization.She had me leave word with my doctor although I see him Monday. Being manic with the mixture of depressive thoughts racing in my mind is very uncomfortable. I try to be positive and  fill my head with positive thoughts, but it hard when you are dealing with a chemical imbalance. I'm holding on to my friends with all my might.

Tuesday, November 01, 2011


I don't know what up (or down) with me lately. :) I fell again last night. At least I didn't break anything! I'm just very sore all over and have a few bruises. Blue is suppose to be my color. LOL.  I have had two bad falls this year. The first one I broke my foot. I just don't know why this is happening. Maybe I just try to move too fast or something. Enough about my gracefulness.

Seems that there are a lot less trick or treat children out each year. I think this is sad because it used to be such a fun time for kids. We did have a cute little monkey carried by his daddy that came last night. Now the question is what to do with all the left over candy?