Wednesday, June 27, 2012

It's Hot!

Boy is it hot around here. The last several days it has been over 100 degrees. I had several appointments today. A ultra sound of my thyroid, a bone density, and my mammogram. The car really got heated up between appointments. I carried cold water to help beat the heat.

I am a little concerned about the thyroid scan because they found a mass. I am waiting to hear from my doctor to see what the next step is.  I really don't think it's a big deal, but I hate the word  "abnormal".

In  other news Alice's cats are at each others throats all the time right now. I am not sure if they are feeling the heat too. I can't afford to run the air really low in my house right now. You know the "B" word - budget!

I think the heat is part of the reason I am so tired right now. I don't feel much like doing anything. Well I must say I am thankful to be in my home and it is cooler in here than outside. I'm going to try to blog at least every other day until I get back in the swing of things. Everybody take care!

Monday, June 25, 2012

Yes I Am Alive

No I have not dropped off the face of the earth and I am still alive. Seems like I have been dealing with a lot of  "stuff" and just haven't felt like blogging. I will try to do better because I know there are people in blogging land that care for me. I have made it a new goal to say something every day that I am thankful for. Today it will be my blogging friends that accept me just the way I am.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Friday, June 15, 2012

You Were Always There For Me

When taking Chris to the hospital before we knew how ill he was he said some of the most precious words I could have ever heard from my child. "You know little Mama you have always been there for me."  Here is what those words from Chris mean to me.

When I was a baby and needed fed, my diaper changed, a warm bath, or someones arms to cuddle in. You were always there for me.

As I became a toddler after my busy days. I needed my glow worm, a hug, and a bedtime story. You were always there for me.

I became older.  My bobo's needed kissed. I needed to know right from wrong. When I needed comfort from the loud fights and I needed to know I was loved. You would hold and kiss me. You were always there for me.

My first day of school. What an event!  New clothes, a backpack, my pencils and crayons. You walked to school with me holding my hand. A quick hug was all I needed. After school you picked me up and listen to my experiences of my first day.  Yes you were always there for me.

And then there was baseball. The games, the practices, the excitement, and the fun. The work all to get on base. Shortstop or pitcher it didn't matter to you. The pitcher mound you built in our back yard. I would wind up on the mound and you would try to catch my balls, fast, slow or wild. The ball on the pole you would swing for me to hit. The batting cages. Even my broken thumb. You were always there for me.

School could be a challenge. It was hard for me to sit in my seat. The school play. You were so proud of your little actor.  You helped me with math. You went to school conferences. You were always there for me.

As I became more independent. As I spread my wings.  My new job, new car, and ulcers. School at home. My new eating disorder. You gave me the space I needed. But still you were always there for me.

When I broke your heart and moved to Dallas to live with my dad.  You would drive halfway to Texas to make sure I had the food to eat because of my eating disorder. You were always there for me.

My long distance love. When  I made mistakes. When I moved back home. You were always there for me.

As anxiety took over my life.  When I found I could no longer work.  When I could not leave my room. You worked with me to get me help. The more I isolated myself. The more fear I had. The more I needed to be safe. You were always there for me.

As I started getting better. As I would be able to mow the lawn without a panic attack.  As I worked for Nvidia. When I took a risk to to make a trip to Nvidia. You were always there for me.

When I came home very sick. When they put me on a ventilator. You were there by my side. I could feel you softly rubbing my arm and singing to me.  When my weaken body gave up and I left this  life. As always you were there for me. Thank you little Mama for always caring and being there for me. I could always depend on you. I love you little Mama.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

A Dog's Day

I do not know why I have not been able to post but I have not. Sometimes you just take life one day at a time.  I fell and hurt my hip. I have been having to use a walker to get around. Thank goodness for pain pills. I don't think I would have made it the last week without them. I guess I'm just having one of those dog day nights. lol I have been blogging too long to give it up just because I'm depressed. This will be a very short post, but I wanted to let everyone know I was still around.

Saturday, June 02, 2012

A Gift

My therapist gave me wonderful CD called 
"Song For The Inner Child"
This was the first son on the CD

Needed A Break

Ever feel like you just needed a break?  That's were I have been for the last few days.  I'm trying to put back some broken  pieces and just could not write or even follow my blogs. I'm sorry ,but my head was not in the right place. I think I am doing a bit better so please be patient with me. More later.