Monday, October 31, 2011

Friday, October 28, 2011


Healing takes time, patience, work, therapy, and God. I believe the broken can be restored and healed. I believe I am a work in progress. I'm taking steps to be whole and as I grow possibly inspire others along the way.

Tears can be healing. I cried a lot in my therapy session today. I feel we pulled out some of the pain and filled it with positive affirmations. I am a good person. I can be a  positive influence on others. I am OK!  I still believe if I can help anyone in there journey then this blog is not a waste of time. 

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

New Tapes

I am me.
I am able to do things.
I survived a lot of shit: I am strong!
I am God's child and deserve to be loved.

This was suggested by a friend and I love it!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Old Tapes

I find writing or blogging an excellent way to cope with stress. Sometime when things are really bad I have a hard time doing anything. Currently I am really trying to change the old tapes in my head. That can be so hard.
My old tapes say:
  1. I'm stupid
  2. I'm fat
  3. Nobody could love you
  4. You deserve every bad thing that happens
  5. You deserve to be hurt or abused
Over time these tapes have played in my head since I was a child. It hard for me to think that even God could love me. How am I working on changing these tapes?
  1. Therapy
  2. Bible study
  3. Working on my eating plan
  4. Being around positive people
  5. Blogging about my feeling
  6. Encouraging others
If I can help one other person realize that they are special then I have been a success.  I am determined to be more than my past abuse. I will overcome. I will love and be loved.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

I'm A Little Lost Right Now

I really don't know what going on with me, but I feel a bit lost right now. I am really having trouble focusing on doing anything. Has any one else just felt like they are going through the motions of day to day life without really knowing what they are doing? That is what I'm feeling. I guess I need to talk to my therapist about it. I am very calm right now. I am concerned because I am normally so driven to do something. I say I'm calm, but my body is shaking as I set here and type. I just feel strange! Just want to let everyone know I'm still around.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Took A Break

I took a short break from blogging because I have just been struggling. I'm doing a little better since I finally got some sleep. Yeah!. Took a short road trip with a friend and that was nice. We didn't do a lot, but it was a small break from the day to day struggle. I am so thankful to all of my blogging friends that support me. It really means a lot. I know I am going to make it and that is what is important.

Friday, October 07, 2011

Too Much

Seems I have had just too much going on recently. I am stressed to the max, but am trying to take it one day at a time. I have to go to a funeral service today and am hoping I can hold it together. I will share more later, because I am having such a hard time organizing my thoughts. I just want to let people know I need their support and prayers right now

Saturday, October 01, 2011


Chris used to laugh and sing this song all the time. I heard it the other day and it made me think of Chris and smile. It was good to remember something happy about Chris.