Thursday, October 29, 2009

Feeling Almost Human

I am not sure what I had, but I sure am glad to feel almost human again. I think working in a doctors office can expose you to just about anything. I am still weak but so much better. I try to get around to some of your blogs, but it is going to be slow. I feel there is so much to catch up on.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Not Feeling Well

I have been under the weather. Hopefully I will soon feel better.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Stop Messing With Me

  • I feel things are out of control and I can't manage them. God says I will supply all your needs.
  • I am always worried and frustrated. God says cast your cares on Me.
  • I can't figure things out right now. God says I will direct your path
I have to have something to stand on now. I am told if you speak the word then God can make things happen. A lot of bad stuff is going on right now, so it was important I write this post. If you pray please do so for me right now. I am at my wits end.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I Want To Encourage Someone

It seems a lot of my blogger friends are struggling now. I have been too. I am not sure the reason, but everyone seems down. This is a weekend, so let us all try to enjoy it. Find one thing that you feel good about. Just one thing and think about that. Mine is MY SON LOVES ME UNCONDITIONAL. That is cool. If everyone thinks of one thing what a list we would have. Let's try to reflect on one good thing today.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Walking In The Rain

A brisk walk in the rain felt good. The splashing in the puddles made me feel like a child. The cool drops splashing on my face and arms gave me goose bumps. It was nice to feel nature breathing on me. It seemed to help lift the depression. I enjoyed the time alone with nature and enjoyed the little things in life.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Who Would I Have Been?

If the abuse had not of happen, who would I have been. I am a very kind person who hate to see injustice to any human. I care deeply. I don't trust people easily. I don't like myself much. My faith is weaker than it should be. I have spent thousands of dollars on therapy. I am still hurting. I still have the nightmares. I am flawed. I am still alive. I have not totally given up. I still fight for the right. I HAVE ISSUES! Eating disorder,SI,plus a chemical imbalance. Will I ever know who I am? I feel so alone, but God says He will never leave or forsake me.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Need for Perfection

I really get down on myself if I feel I can not do something perfect. I don't think I am going to be able to work at different clinics because everything is done differently at each clinic. I must feel in total control and I don't. I am trying to pick up a few hours to supplement my disability. I used to be so good at my job, now doing any type of work is a struggle. How can so much be taken and you still have any confidence. I hate the shaking part. Just venting after a frustrating day.