Monday, November 15, 2010

Woke Up In A Cold Sweat.



I woke up in a cold sweat, shaking and trembling all over. I put on some music to relax myself and all it did was make me cry and feel so much alone. The support  group I'm going to, say that just thinking about the upcoming Holidays, Birthdays and Date of Death is sometimes harder then the day itself.. I really hope so. If Alice can come for Christmas we will have a great time. I wasn't going to put up a tree or anything, but if she is coming I'm going to put up a small tree.

Later today I'm talking to my orthopedic surgeon. about getting my right knee replacement done before the end of the year, because My insurance is  going to be a lot worst after the first of the year. I'm hoping it will cover a rehab center for a week,since I live alone. It would be a great way to spend Thanksgiving day.

I also see my therapist after my orthopedic appointment. Sometimes I think we are just beating a dead horse there. She told me I needed to "forgive" my ex husband. I just don't think about him unless he is brought up in therapy. After what Alice told me what he had done to her,I just glad I'm not in prison. I was an idiot for letting him abuse me, but no one hurts  my babies!
I am going to try and get some sleep now. Fingers crossed.

8 comments:

One Heart said...

I hear you, Wanda. I'd be in prison with you. But, His grace takes over and here you are living one day at a time. Focus on the little things that bring you simple joys, like your Good Will find last week. Play the music and put up that tree no matter what. Put it up for yourself and tell us all about it. I can't wait to hear.

Thinking of you and wishing you a beautiful Monday.

Faycin A Croud said...

I hope that Alice can come see you. That would be a nice gift to help you through the holiday.

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IK said...

I hope your daughter can visit for Christmas. Regardless, I hope you can have some nice holidays. I hope your knee can be dealt with. I'm sorry that your ex-husband was abusive like that.

Take care! *hugs* <3

Ethereal Highway said...

Again with the forgiveness for the effing child molester? Ridiculous. That is not even your job. Listen to your gut, Wanda and keep siding with your children.

Andrea said...

I am thankful for GODS grace!
Blessings, hugs, and prayers,
andrea

63mago said...

Yeah ... maybe I'm too late, but I wish you a good sleep - I know how important it is and will crawl in my bed now ...

NOS said...

I hope your appointments go (went?) well. And I am keeping my fingers crossed for Alice's visit.

<3
NOS