Sunday, June 13, 2010

Sleep

I have taken my night time medicine and am ready to sleep. I know I u se sleep too often to easy my pain and depression. I wonder if that is what real peace is like. For awhile I do not cry. Even if some nights I cry myself to sleep. I wonder why some brains don't have the right chemical to prevent depression. I have so many questions and so few answers. I thank each and everyone of my friends for their support. How can a heart be so full of love and compassion for others, but hate ones self. I see joy in other people and long for that for myself. I have been this way for so long I wonder if my only hope is in the after life. I'm tired now so I think I will sleep. I don't know what I would do without all the kindness and encouragement you all give me. Thank you so much.

5 comments:

Cheesemeister said...

You and I are very much the same. I use sleep as an escape, although I often don't get enough sleep due to all my obligations. Sometimes even though I'm not suicidal at this point I think I'd welcome death, just to be away from all the stress. For a long time I wished to be normal, now I don't think I'd know what to do with myself if one day I woke up "normal." I immerse myself in duty. I try to find slices of happiness and sometimes I think that's all there is.
I just always have to wonder why good people such as you have to suffer. That makes me very sad.

Just Be Real said...

Dear one, I do hope you were able to have a peaceful night of rest. Here with you listening.....

NOS said...

Wow, it sounds like we have sister posts (http://bloggernos.blogspot.com/2010/06/in-need-of-release-or-escape.html). I too wonder why some brains don't have the right chemistry to prevent depression and why mine is one of them.

I believe that you'll be able to experience joy in this life. You deserve it.

Wishing you well,
NOS

sarah said...

here listening...here in your corner..praying for you...

Marj aka Thriver said...

Wanda: I haven't seen you around in so long, but I think of you often. I saw your comment over at JIP's blog, so I thought I'd just come over here and say hello and that you are thought about today. (((((((Wanda)))))))