Saturday, September 18, 2010

Tried To Eat

I tried to eat some lunch today and it made me sick. It was shrimp and I was only able to take a couple of bites. What a waste of money $10 for two bites of shrimp and a diet coke. I thought if I ate something maybe I would feel better. Besides I was worried about having to weigh in at doctor's office Monday. I lost a few more pounds and I don't think he going to be too happy. Believe me I'm not skin and bones, but I have loss way too much weight too fast. You see once I started lossing I became obessed with it. You would think at my age I would know better. Controling my intake seemed like a better option than cutting myself, which I am really struggling with. I am so tired of being"sick". I just want to be normal and happy with who I am. I'm so tired of being depressed. It just sucks the life out of you. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

5 comments:

Angela said...

I'm so sorry that you are struggling with depression and eating. I know just how you feel. It is easy to numb the pain with an eating disorder, but in the long run it is a dangerous and destructive thing to do. I hope that you can gain cotrol of it. Sending you lots of love and {{{HUGS}}} I wish that I could offer more advice, but I'm here listening.

Denise said...

As a former cutter, I understand the urges. You have to stand strong. Praying for you, and loving you very much.

RCUBEs said...

Lots of us are praying for you sister. Keep pressing on. Not with your strength but by His. God bless you and keep you.

NOS said...

I don't think it's about "knowing better." I don't know if you consider yourself to have an eating disorder, but I certainly know how weight loss can be addicting and one can become obsessed with it. I'm sure if you were feeling better then your eating would improve too. I think it's about taking care of the fundamental problem and then other things will come together.

Hang on, Wanda. You WILL have a better day soon.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Prayer Girl said...

I have never had a food addiction, but with my current personal situation that is very painful I find myself not hungry, cutting back on what I eat. It's easy. It's probably the easiest I have lost weight in a long time. Is the situation worth it? Absolutely not, but I can't prevent it. As a child I was a cutter. I now look to God to help me in all things including getting through the current hell I find myself in.

Prayers for you in your desperate times.
PG