Monday, September 27, 2010
Maybe I'm Not That Bad
I beginning to believe (just a little bit) maybe who I am is not all that bad. I have always had so much self hatred. I was never good enough. I was too fat, too ugly, not smart enough, and not worth loving. I still struggle with these lies. These are messages from my past. It takes a long time to "unlearn" these messages. The voices can some times be so loud I want to hurt myself or just end it all. The real trick is to hold on, one day at at a time until I can learn the truth. I want to believe someday I will no longer be uncomfortable with who I am. Healing can be slow, but I do believe it is worth the work. I know there are some things that will never change. I will always be bipolar and may be always struggle with food issues. I will try each day to think something positive about myself. It is a path to healing that I must choose.