Monday, June 26, 2006

Hanging in There


The last several days I have tried to stay "up beat" and positive. It's been rough! What's going on? I feel I'm in a war right now. It seems everything is under attack.( Body, Mind, and Soul)
  1. Physically I am struggling. I'm in a lot of pain, my BP is too high, my heart rate is jumping up to 150-170 beats per minute for short intervals. I am totally exhausted
  2. I am an emotional "basket case". I'm trying to laugh every thing off by being a clown. At least that away people won't see how much things are bothering me.
  3. Several memories have been triggered and I'm not coping with that either. I cry at a drop of a hat, so I'm trying to laugh and joke around so I won't cry.
  4. Work is killing me emotionally and physically.
  5. I'm "spacing out" and forgetting to do everything.
  6. I am quickly going broke. I'm spending everything on medical bills and medicine.
  7. I really need hugs, but am pulling away from everyone What I want and need most I'm hiding from.

Why when you need people the must do you isolate. Why is it so hard to get out of bed? Why do you cry everytime your mind slips into neutral?

3 comments:

wolfbaby said...

I am here when every you need me just let me know... I wish i could be there to give you a "real" hug
but this will have to do instead
(((((hugs)))))

Wanda's Wings said...

Thanks I need some right now. Cyber hugs are good! (( back to you))

Dreaming again said...

Cyberhugs ... I promise, when we meet for coffee tomorrow, I will give you a real hug.