Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sleep
I have taken my night time medicine and am ready to sleep. I know I u se sleep too often to easy my pain and depression. I wonder if that is what real peace is like. For awhile I do not cry. Even if some nights I cry myself to sleep. I wonder why some brains don't have the right chemical to prevent depression. I have so many questions and so few answers. I thank each and everyone of my friends for their support. How can a heart be so full of love and compassion for others, but hate ones self. I see joy in other people and long for that for myself. I have been this way for so long I wonder if my only hope is in the after life. I'm tired now so I think I will sleep. I don't know what I would do without all the kindness and encouragement you all give me. Thank you so much.
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5 comments:
You and I are very much the same. I use sleep as an escape, although I often don't get enough sleep due to all my obligations. Sometimes even though I'm not suicidal at this point I think I'd welcome death, just to be away from all the stress. For a long time I wished to be normal, now I don't think I'd know what to do with myself if one day I woke up "normal." I immerse myself in duty. I try to find slices of happiness and sometimes I think that's all there is.
I just always have to wonder why good people such as you have to suffer. That makes me very sad.
Dear one, I do hope you were able to have a peaceful night of rest. Here with you listening.....
Wow, it sounds like we have sister posts (http://bloggernos.blogspot.com/2010/06/in-need-of-release-or-escape.html). I too wonder why some brains don't have the right chemistry to prevent depression and why mine is one of them.
I believe that you'll be able to experience joy in this life. You deserve it.
Wishing you well,
NOS
here listening...here in your corner..praying for you...
Wanda: I haven't seen you around in so long, but I think of you often. I saw your comment over at JIP's blog, so I thought I'd just come over here and say hello and that you are thought about today. (((((((Wanda)))))))
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