Monday, June 21, 2010

Grief Class Graduation

Tomorrow night is "Grief Class Graduation". I feel I have failed the course with flying colors. The class had a lot to do with unresolved issues. Chris and I were very close and the biggest issue I had was that he had to die when he was only 27 years old. He was robbed of so much life. I was robbed of a very special person. I am glad I took the course because it helped me realize I was not the only one who was hurting so badly. I still cry almost everyday. Some days I cry several times in that day. I am assured he is in heaven and one day I will see him again. I worry some that I want to be with him so badly I may end up taking my own life. When you suffer from bipolar depression you are at a higher risk for suicide. My counselor told me she is at lose of words to help me, but believe me being able to vent is helpful. You have all been wonderful and encouraging to me. Thank you. I'm not giving up yet, but I am so weary. Oh, Chris I loved you so much.

8 comments:

NOS said...

Wanda, I know I've said this several times, but I'm so sorry for your loss. But please hang on to life. Chris wouldn't want you to hurt yourself and I don't want you to do that either. Both of us care. A lot.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Just Be Real said...

Dear one you have not failed that class. There is no time limit to healing from grief especially. I am proud of you that you went to the classes! ((((Wanda))))

IK said...

Oh Wanda, you have been through a lot. Seeing you fight on is encouraging to me.

I do not believe one can fail such a class. You've learned that others struggle with the same pain and why you grieve so much. That is good!

You will cry as much as needed, there is nothing wrong with that! Crying is simply a form of emotional release. I am glad that you can cry as some people never believe it's ok for them to do so.

Take care! *hugs* <3

Andrea said...

Wanda,
I am praising GOD that you are NOT giving up...and I beg you to NEVER give up. Don't let the enemy win! That is how I have had to think of it so many times....I am NOT going to let the enemy have his way in my life. My life belongs to GOD. HE loves me and HE loves you, too. HE will continue to see us both through those most difficult times. I am not sure if I told you before or not, but my youngest sister was killed at age 17 in 1989. I know what you mean about being robbed of time with her. One thing GOD has pointed out to me over and over again through the years is that our time on other seems long, but eternity is forever and she is waiting on me there...in HIS time...we will dance and celebrate the ultimate life. Until that time..I will live life or try to live life to the fullest here...it is a tribute to my sister...that is what she would have wanted and I will just be that is what Chris would want for you...to live your life to the fullest, doing your best to enjoy ever second.
Hugs,
andrea

Prayer Girl said...

Sometimes it seems there is no meaning left to life, but eventually a day dawns and meaning returns. Please don't give up before that miracle happens.

PG

Paul said...

There's a song with the line "You left me here to remind me of you"
My mother's always with me because I'm here and she's there. And all the wonderful things she did I have them in me because she gave them to me without even knowing.

God Whispers said...

Came back to give you another ((((Wanda))))

Mary said...

Don't ever give up. I am sure days where you feel you cannot make it. Hold on for the next day. My neice gave up - if only she had held on, the next day may have looked a little brighter - maybe just a little.

Praying God's strength and peace!

Hugs!!