Monday, June 14, 2010
Peace In Dnying?
God if it is peace you find in dying please let the time be near. This been going through my head all day. I'm so tired and sad. I long for peace. My life has been filled with one bad thing after another. If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger I should be super women. I love so deeply. I know I am chemically unbalanced, I just can't think right now. I have to hang on for my daughter. It's so hard. I know I'm not the only person molested as a child. I know I'm not the only person that married a pedophile. I know I'm not the only one that is bipolar. I know I'm not the only one with chronic pain. I know I'm not the only one to have lost a child. It doesn't take away the severe emotional pain I'm going through. I pray but don't seem to get the results others do when they pray. Would it be wrong to take my own life? Would that damn me to hell? Would I never be able to see my beloved son if I did this? I love God and people. What is wrong with me? Maybe calling someone would help. I'm sorry I have been so weak and needy. Please help hold me up. There has got to be an answer out there somewhere. I'm calling someone to help me make it through the night until I talk to my therapist tomorrow.