I knew I've been struggling for the past several days. Two of my dearest friends felt something was wrong yesterday. PK and RS. PK was very in tune that there was something that just was NOT right. I though I could continue to pull it off. I've been pushing too hard for the last three weeks. Duty, resonsibilty, and "staying in control". I've kept my word. I took my meds as prescribed, ( the entire hand full!) I have not cut, drove crazy, drank, put my fist through glass, spent too much money, or purged. So I guess I didn't toally fail.
It seems the physcial problems (Lupus, Thyroid problem, Chronic fatique, HTN, and asthma) are figthing the mental problems (PTSD, bi-polar, panic disorder, dissociate disorder and ED) I tried going to bed early at 8 PM last night and did go right to sleep. When the alarm went off at 5 AM I could not get up. I was going to push it and try for 6 AM. I was hurting so bad and so exhausted I still couldn't make it, so I called in sick. I just don't call in sick! I went back to sleep for another 6 hours. I just got up and it was all I could do to carry a bag of trash to the street. WHAT is WRONG WITH ME? I'm taking my meds. I'm being "good".
I'm always responsible. Well at least the "bad" things I do are always hidden. I can not belive this, but I'm still exhaused, so I'm going to lie back down. Can anyone relate to this or am I just totally whacko?