Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Needing Each Other

I was one of those people that thought I didn't need anyone. I could handle anything by myself and no one would ever hurt me again. About 5 years ago I had hit rock bottom. I had detail plans to end my life. My kids would better off with the insurance money. or at least that is what I told myself. I just could no longer deal with life. A girl at work asked me to speak to her pastor. She must have saw something in my eyes that day. So in despiration I went to see him. Immediatly he had three strikes against him.

  1. He was male. I had not had any good experiences with any male in my life.
  2. He was a pastor. I didn't trust those money grabbers.
  3. He seemed nice. He had to have an agenda.

When I left the office he said he would call me the next day. I thought to myself, "Yah right!" But something kept me from killing myself that night. The next day he did call. I was shocked because this man didn't know me at all. It was the first time I had ever seen him. He actual did what he said he was going to do. This was the first step to starting to tear down a protective wall I had built around myself.

If I had not meet Pastor Randy, I would not be alive today. It took me almost 4 years talking with him before I really started to fully trust him. He was patient and kind. This was a new experience for me to find someone who accepted me "as I was", broken, defeated, but loved me anyway.

Each of us meet people each day that are hurting and broken. A smile, or a kind word could save someone life. For me it began with a very kind person keeping his word and calling me.


Dreaming again said...

oh and I'm so glad he called you!

How grateful I will forever be!

Remember when you think he doesn't like you that it's your active imagination ...and that the pushing he's doing now ... is because you're growing now ... how far you've come!

Ms. Wanderful ... I'm so glad you listened to your friend and came to meet Pastor Randy.

jumpinginpuddles said...

hi wanda,
for us we are still learning to trust our T of three years, she hasnt done anything that wouldnt warrant our trust but as you can see from our blogs its a hard road for us, thanks for letting us know we arent the only ones struggling in this and for writing about it.


Fallen Angels said...

Trust is very hard. We are going on 4 1/2 years with our T...and trust is still not complete.

jumpinginpuddles said...

actually i think that is four years we have been seeing her