I think I've become more relaxed and feel safer than I ever have in my life. The change? God, Friends, and Loving Support. I totally belive that no one was made to be alone. We need others. We need someone to say, "Hey, you don't have to be perfect. I love you just as you are."
When children do not grow up feeling safe, they often don't know how to react in the "adult world". They find other ways to survive. They can not trust anyone. I found myself trying to be "perfect" and "in control". This only lead to addition frustion and defeat. My self hatred grew. Life had no meaning because I could never be perfect.
Recently I spent alot of time with a pastor that accepted me "just as I was", with all my faults. A thearpist that help me look at painful events. Friends that supported me. Doctors to help regulate the biochemical inbalances.
Am I "normal" yet? I don't think so. I am happier. YES! Have I arrived? Not by far. I guess you can say "I'm a work in progress". A few doctors, a therapist, a pastor, and a few good friends might definitely agree with this last statment.
I guess the reason for this post is to let everyone know:
1. Hold on and never give up.
2. Let others support you when your too weak.
3. Somebody loves and belives in you.
4. God loves you always and formost.
5. You don't have to be perfect, be you.
4 comments:
Jumpininpuddles-could you see what Fallen angle had written on the "medication" post I wrote, so I can contact her. I'm interested in what she has to say.
thanks
Wanda
Did want to post on your blog with everthing you got going on. Still praying for your beautiful daughter.
I love what you just wrote here. It is just wonderful.
~Deb
I love what you wrote here too ... and I love you.
I remember sitting in the women's tea before Easter a few years back. At RT's ... and it was the small one ... and you were so blocked off ... and so ... what's the word I need ... dark?
Arms crossed, angry.
And look at you now!!
Your feet are being set straighter every day Rumblebuffin ... and I'm thoroughly enjoying being along for the ride!
Thank you for letting me be a part of that!
This is a good thing.... the one thing that i would add is what is normal ... who is normal? normal is over rated all that matters is that you feel loved and that you love and that you are happy
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