Wednesday, July 12, 2006

DECISIONS




God tells us to have the faith like a little child. I am trying, but struggling with this. Right now I feel I have to many decisions to make. I'm stressed about knowing I can no longer work at my current job due to all my mental and physical health issues. I'm trying to help my youngest son with severe panic disorder get disability. I'm working on getting disability for my self. My oldest child needs me to talk with the thearpist to "fill in the blanks" of the last 20 years. My "X" is coming to town to see the kids. He still has the open felony chages against him for child molestation.
Money is a real problem. I need to try to deciside to try to keep and refinace my house, sell it and down size. or move into an apartment. My fixed income will be less than what I have now and I'm struggling making it now.
I talked with my friends, pastor, and a couple of bankers, but I am still so confused. I been in a lot of pain recently so I am much more anxious than normal. I quess all of the stress threw me into a complete regresion or flash back or something. I ended up loosing several hours. I 'm worried that I am going to totally "lose it" I am trying so hard to have that child like faith while checking out my options. I just want to rest an feel it going to be ok. I guess that is why it is called FAITH- you can not see ahead. "Let go and let God " seem to be the best solution. Now for the inner strength to do this!

6 comments:

wolfbaby said...

I am praying for you wanda!!!

TAke a deep breath

*hugs*

jumpinginpuddles said...

gently sending you hope and happiness, i dont know what else to say except i can hear the stress even though im reading it if that makes sense.
Quietly sitting beside you.

Wanda's Wings said...

Thanks WB I need the prayer!

JIP you are always such a support Thank you!

mysti said...

(((Wanda))) I wish I could give you a real hug. I am sorry you are having such a tough time. Know that you are not alone.

I am praying for you.

Enigma said...

peace be still
take a moment to not think
take a moment to not try to figure things out... maybe a stroll in the park, a hot bubble bath, take in a movie, or play a video game for half hour. Take some time for you just to relax for a bit.
One breath at time.

Your faith is in Jesus, in what He has done for you, in who He is, in who God is, is it not? It is not faith that He will swoop down and fix everything, right? Then you have your faith. I think, and I could be wrong here, but I think you are adding an pressure that needs not be. Perhaps I misinterpted what you said, and if I did, I am truly sorry. Feel free to let me know or take peace in what I said. Whichever is right for you. :)

Know that I am praying for you even as I type this.
((((((hugs))))))

Wanda's Wings said...

mysti and enigma,
Sometimes it good to hear what we know. Jesus knows and care and so do my friends.