Wednesday, July 12, 2006
God tells us to have the faith like a little child. I am trying, but struggling with this. Right now I feel I have to many decisions to make. I'm stressed about knowing I can no longer work at my current job due to all my mental and physical health issues. I'm trying to help my youngest son with severe panic disorder get disability. I'm working on getting disability for my self. My oldest child needs me to talk with the thearpist to "fill in the blanks" of the last 20 years. My "X" is coming to town to see the kids. He still has the open felony chages against him for child molestation.
Money is a real problem. I need to try to deciside to try to keep and refinace my house, sell it and down size. or move into an apartment. My fixed income will be less than what I have now and I'm struggling making it now.
I talked with my friends, pastor, and a couple of bankers, but I am still so confused. I been in a lot of pain recently so I am much more anxious than normal. I quess all of the stress threw me into a complete regresion or flash back or something. I ended up loosing several hours. I 'm worried that I am going to totally "lose it" I am trying so hard to have that child like faith while checking out my options. I just want to rest an feel it going to be ok. I guess that is why it is called FAITH- you can not see ahead. "Let go and let God " seem to be the best solution. Now for the inner strength to do this!