Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Depression Is Crushing Me

I'm doing everything I'm suppose to do to lift this depression. 
  1. Following my meal plan
  2. Getting sunshine
  3. Taking my medication
  4. Exercising
  5. Self talk
I can't seem to get a hold on this. My mind is filled with thoughts of how to kill myself. So many people seem to be able to beat this. Why can't I? I am so tired of this illness. I see my psychiatric tomorrow. I can't tell him how dark my thoughts are. He would admit me again. I just so tired of how draining this illness is. I believe I am treatment resistant bipolar.

7 comments:

Just me said...

You will beat it. You will, you will, you will. I believe in you.

NOS said...

I'm really glad to hear that you're taking action to combat this depression, but I'm sorry you are feeling so down right now. I think you should add "Being honest to my psychiatrist" to that list-- he's there to help you, and he can't do that if he doesn't know what he's working with. I know being admitted to the hospital is no fun, but sometimes it's necessary to keep ourselves alive. Of course, I don't know exactly how bad you're feeling, but if he thinks hospitalization is necessary then it might be necessary.

"So many people seem to be able to beat this. Why can't I?" I ask myself the same thing every day. You are not alone.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Sophia said...

Hang in there, Wanda. Don't give up. Your miracle is just around the corner. Believe me, there have been days that I feel like quitting my healing journey, but I'm so glad I didn't as I continue to come across little gems from God all along the way. Love to you.

Bobbi said...

Satan would wish for you to believe that you cannot beat this. Wanda, you cannot beat it alone. God is bigger than any problem, feeling, or depression that you might have. Look to Jesus... He WILL bring you out of this. You have so much to offer... and there are times I come to your blog and leave feeling better myself because you have an encouraging post. Think of those that you can help... and you CAN!!! Put on the full armor of God and you will not be beaten! Hugs and Love from Gracie and me.

Wonderingsoul said...

Such a powerful image Wanda, I can almost FEEL the agony you are in as you write.
Thinking of you and hoping that the sun will come to shine on you as you use the tools you have to battle the darkness.

xxx

RCUBEs said...

May you find that way He opened up for you...Praying for you! God bless.

Paola said...

Hang in there, it'll be worth it when you reach the other side of the rainbow you'll see... stay strong..