Monday, August 23, 2010
I saw my doctor for the last time today. It will be a month before I see the new guy. I also saw my therapist today. I actually got sick and had to leave the session and vomit. She was talking about a lot today, but I could not handle talking about Chris today. My emotions are on edge. I can't say I'm depressed. I just don't seem to care about anything. A friend of mine was in town today and we didn't get a chance to hook up because his meetings and my appointments were in conflict. That makes me really made me sad. He was my former pastor and now is an insurance salesman. We were very close and it hurt really bad when he moved out of the city. My doctor reduced one of my medicine to help with the sleepiness . Like I said it might just be because I don't care about anything. I guess I really do care about my friends and family. I talked with my daughter today and she is not sleeping. I told her to call her doctor to see if he could give her something to help her get some sleep. I am so numb right now. I hate it when I get like this. These are the times I want to self injure. Weird it is not when I'm depressed, but when I feel nothing. I'm going to lie down for a while so I don't do anything stupid.