Sunday, August 15, 2010
Many people find love at a very early age. Their parents love and protect them. This was not the case in my life I didn't learn what love was for a long time. I thought when I got married this was love, only to find out I was in a very abusive situation. I know many people find love at this time of life, I just wasn't lucky. I became pregnant and felt a new life growing inside me. I knew then I had found real love. When they told me my baby may not make it I knew I would give my own live to save my baby. I was willing to give up everything so my child could live.We almost neither made it. There were some abnormalities which later cause her own personal distress. My love never died. It was steadfast through all the hardship. My second child was born. A healthy male. I watched him become a wonderful young man. His first job, his first car(a white convertible),and his first girlfriend. Then I had to watch him develop a severe anxiety disorder. He became afraid to leave the house. He worked on line for a computer company and lived with me. He was only 27 when he died and a big part of me died with him that day. I found love in my children. Love is being willing to die to save the one you love. Does God feel that away about me? I would have never done anything to hurt Alice or Chris. Does God know how much I hurt? GOD I HURT!