Monday, July 07, 2008

My Sister Is Coming


My 1/2 sister is coming on the 22nd and I am having emotion from one end of the spectrum to the other. I'm very busy doing all the things you do when you have out of town guest coming. Deep cleaning the house and trying to plan so every thing will be perfect. But on the other hand I'm having apprehensive thoughts about the past. When I was very young I started having 'black outs" with "lost periods of time". At 18 I had a complete break down, was put in the hospital, wiped out my past, and then left home. I soon married believing I was a virgin and we tried for several years to get pregnant. I was told my internal organ were messed up and I might never have children,but I got pregnant. After the birth of my child I start having frequent "blackouts" and "waking nightmares". I was placed in a mental hospital and diagnosed with PTSD with dissociation. I called my sister who could not believe I did not remember the repeated rapes by my step dad. So you see I am worried about stirring up the memories. My step dad was cruel as well as sexually abusive. All of my family suffer today from his abuse from years gone by in one way or another.

6 comments:

Tracy said...

Hugs wanda, I will be praying for you during this visit.(((Wanda)))

Mike Golch said...

Wandna,Hugs hugs and further more HUGS!!! we are all here for you and I have a shoulder tom lean on when needed. Us PTSD people have be there for support of each other.

I hope that you have a great visit,and not the painful stuff.Just shareing the love of one sister for an other!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. HUGS and Blessing.Mike

Mary said...

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, Im sure it will go well, and you'll have lots of fun with your sister..try and relax...hugsss Mary

Raine said...

I can see why you would be apprehensive. Do you and your sister always discuss the past or can you just talk about the now? Or does it matter? Maybe your new therapist has some suggestions?

jumpinginpuddles said...

we always find it hard to talk t oour sister but we also find it freeing to do so. She remembers and shares sometimes we need that

Tamara said...

My thoughts and prayer will be with you. I hope that you and your sister can enjoy some good memories together.

Sending you strength,
Tamara