Monday, August 29, 2011

What Is Wrong With Me?

I have so many people being kind to me right now. I just don't get why I am so sad all the time. It's all I can do to keep from crying. My psychiatrist thinks it's because I'm not sleeping. I'm seeing a sleep specialist next week and will most likely have a sleep study later on in the month. I am tired all the time and am so weak. I was thinking my doctor might need to check my lupus panel. I just know I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Therapy is going okay. It has been intense at times, but I don't think that is the problem. She is wanting me to use my art to try and express some of the pain of my childhood. I have done a little work in this area, but not with this therapist. I really like her and thinks she is truly concerned about me.

I am not getting to  work out as often as I would like to. I did work out Sunday and I am hoping to go work out tomorrow, but we only have one car that is running right now and Alice has an appointment. We will just have to see what plays out tomorrow. I haven't been able to afford the right kind of food. I am so frustrated with the whole eating thing I am about ready to give up.  I know that will never happen because I am so obsessed with food. I think if I was eating better my mood might be better/


Chatty Crone said...

Why, if I may ask, do you have to watch what you are eating - maybe if you had a nice cup of hot chocolate you could sleep? Just asking.

Bobbi said...

I'm obsessed with food as well, and I began WW 3 weeks ago and it is so hard! I crave sweets and I know that they are the very things that make me feel icky.. But I'm determined this time and even though the weight loss is coming along very slowly.. it will work! I feel your pain in that area..
I hope you soon feel better ;-)

Pastor Sharon said...

Maybe you are responding normally to the fact that there are so many caring people around you, supporting you that it is safe to crash, because you are being held in loving arms of friendship right now.

And, I for one, have arms extended your way!

Just me said...

I'm glad you have a good therapist :)

Everything else sounds like a bit of a vicious circle - with the eating & sleep, and the the moods. I'm praying that you'l be able to break it soon x x

Faycin A Croud said...

If whatever causes these lovely low bipolar moods is in effect, you'll still remain in a low mood even if external circumstances are great. It doesn't mean anything is "wrong" with you--except for that you have one of those lovely brains that wants to make your life hell. Some of us just drew the short straw that way.

Anonymous said...

sorry its taking so long to get my van going mom. i know i paid $100 for it but was hopping it wouldn't need so much work. hope to have it running September.