Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Long Term Effects Of Childhood Sexual Abuse

May be triggering!
"The effects of child sexual abuse include depression,[5] post-traumatic stress disorder,[6] anxiety,[7] propensity to further victimization in adulthood,[8] and physical injury to the child, among other problems.[9] Sexual abuse by a family member is a form of incest, and can result in more serious and long-term psychological trauma, especially in the case of parental incest.[1"

Sometimes I wonder why I can not get over the sexual abuse I experienced as a child. I was molested at home from the ages of 4-16. It still seem to effect my thinking on a daily bases. I was also re-victimized several times  as an adult. I sometimes wonder why I am on this earth. I read blogs of healing but I still seem stuck in the healing process. I still blame myself for what happened.  I constantly think of self harm. Without really trying to change how I think my mind immediately goes to the negative thinking. Above are some links that are helpful understanding myself. Deep down I know I am a good person, but the negative loop in my brain makes me feel useless.


Bobbi said...

Bless your heart!

Focus on Jesus. JAMES 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

You are in my prayers.

Chatty Crone said...

Keep cards with you to look at always and write cards and put positive and Christian verses on everything.

Saturate your life with these quotes. Never give up. One day at a time. You can do it. Take it easy on yourself.

And on your mirror - put the words I love you on it and look at them and your face all the time.


NOS said...

This is heartbreaking, Wanda. I'm so sorry that such an awful thing happened to you-- no one should EVER have to go through that. I think, though, that healing is very idiosyncratic-- it's different for everyone. Don't beat yourself for being where you are.

And feeling useless? I can't change your feelings, but I can tell you that you have made such a difference in my life and I wouldn't even be able to recognize you on the street! Reading the comments you leave on my blog always makes me feel understood and comforted. Thank you. You matter. A lot.

Wishing you well,

Tracy said...

I was abused sexually f rom 4 until I graduated from college...and like you revictimized as an adult with rape...I felt like you do now, until one day I realized that I was letting 'them' my perpetrators win! They were still abusing me by allowing them to be in my head so I got pissed! and realized that I was allowing them to continue to do the same thing they've always done....that's when I took conrol of my life and if I was going to feel bad, it would be my doing.
I pray for you in this journey! It is NOT an easy one!

Colleen said...

I keep trying to make new tapes in my head that tell me I am OK.