Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Dealing With My Grief

"It is frequently said that the grief of bereaved parents is the most intense grief known. When a child dies, parents feel that a part of them has died, that a vital and core part of them has been ripped away. Bereaved parents indeed do feel that the death of their child is "the ultimate deprivation.Bereaved parents continue to be parents of the child who died. They will always feel the empty place in their hearts caused by the child's death; they were, and always will be, the loving father and mother of that child. Yet, these parents have to accept that they will never be able to live their lives with or share their love openly with the child. So they must find ways to hold on to the memories."
"Grieving parents are survivors" 

I feel I should be  stronger than I am. It's been one year now and it feels like it happened yesterday. Not everyday but some days. I have survived so much in my life. There was sexual and physical abuse. Suicide of a family member. Being abandoned by my mother. All these things seem small in comparison to the loss of Chris. Yes I still talk to him in my spirit. His beautiful smile tells me I have to keep going and I believe I will join him someday.
  I love you baby!

6 comments:

Sophia said...

Wanda,
Everyone deals and copes with grief in their own way, and for some, it takes a bit longer. Don't be so hard on yourself. You know what you need, and if that means a few more baby steps along the way, then so be it!! We are all here for you and love you much!

Hugs!! =)

NOS said...

I agree with the quote you used-- the death of a child is probably the hardest thing to deal with. I can only imagine what you are going through. But I know that grief takes time and people grieve in different ways. I don't think it's abnormal that you still feel so strongly about what happened.

You say you feel you should be stronger than you are-- look what you've gone through! You've been through so much and you've made it out the other side. That takes incredible strength. I think you are stronger than you realize.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Raine said...

A year is nothing in grieving time. You will heal at your own pace. THere is no time limit on how long we grieve. (((((Wanda))))))

Just Be Real said...

((((Wanda))))
There is no time table dear one.

Faycin A Croud said...

I don't think it would be possible to feel any way other than how you feel. I don't think I would survive. I do think you are strong. You need to take care of yourself. Don't expect yourself to be some sort of super human.
I had a friend who drowned a number of years ago. Her mother didn't start to feel any peace until a few years had passed. The truest thing seems to be that you don't get over it, you get used to it. I know it's not your style, but I say anyone who tells you to "get over it" is asking for a kick where it counts most!

Mollye said...

Thinking of you and holding you in my prayers, Wanda.