Thursday, May 17, 2012

Someone asked me yesterday "What is your purpose in life?"  I had to say that it was to help those that had been abused and wounded. Abuse can change the entire way a person relates to life. I know it did for me. It breaks a person. There reactions and beliefs are not the same as those who were never abused. The trust level is  so different. They frequently are repeat victims because it seems "normal". As I heal I want to share a hope of a better life.  Breaking the cycle of abuse is a deliberate choice. It takes work and therapy and the help of God. I am healing. I am not there yet, but I have come a long way. I want to give hope to those that are hurting. Part of the abuse damage is never knowing love. I am so blessed that my children taught me how to love and receive love.


Sarah (Nikki) said...

and always shine always in spite of everything you go through. A great example of faith and courage. Sending you a ton of hugs.

Chatty Crone said...

First of all if you did not abuse your children and I know you didn't - then you stopped the pattern of abuse.

You choose to do that.

Wanda - did I ever tell you that I am a PAST victim of child abuse. Mine was more verbal then physical - but it hurts the same - at least to your psychologically.

Now I spent years getting help - and growing and with the Lord's help I think I am a stronger woman today because of all what I have come through.

But the sentence you said about "Part of the abuse damage is never knowing love" - that is the one thing I still fight.

It is hard to believe when you are damaged by abuse that you are lovable. You want someone to come in and love you and you think that it will save you.

I think the day had to come when I had to say to myself - I am loved - but not in the way I think I need to be loved. The way I think I need to be loved doesn't exist.

I could go my whole life looking for that - or I could try to let it go - and I did say try - as I still fail at times - and accept what good things I do have instead.

Good things you say - 20 years ago that was me.

I started a gratitude journal and have MADE myself write 5 things every day I am thankful for. Some days it was just that I got up to another day.

Well let me tell you 20 years later I am a very grateful person. No, maybe not loved like I want - but I am loved as God wants.

I'm rambling but that sentence just struck at my heart. I understand it so well.

Love, sandie

Just Be Real said...

Yes, Wanda you have come a very long way. I am proud of you. Blessings.

Wanda said...

It's wonderful that you were able to articulate your purpose. It's something I have struggled with for some time. I have always admired Jesus and Paul's clarity of purpose.

Stefani said...

We're so proud of you! More than words can say. We will support you in whatever way you need because we believe in you!Love you sister.

Anonymous said...

Amen! With God all things are made possible....what I cannot do He will do through me....all things are made possible to whom who believes....I too broke the cycle of child abuse.....together bound by the cords of HIS love we can do all things

Just Be Real said...

More hugs today coming....

Denise said...

I love you, and I admire you.

Tracy said...

Hi Wanda,

It has been forever since i have been on blogger, but now i am back. Glad to see you are still writing! It is funny, my blog today was about purpose. Strange that i come here and you are talking on that very topic. I think it is wonderful. You are such a wonderful lady, and have so much to give to others who need healing. I know that what you have to offer is invaluable! Hugs my blogger friend.

The Real Cie said...

This is why I stopped getting into romantic relationships. I couldn't stop choosing abusive people. I think that maybe some of us really aren't meant for that kind of relationship.
My parents weren't abusive in the same ways that yours were, but they were inadvertently emotionally abusive. They were very obsessive and controlling. I tried very hard to break that pattern with my son. Because I was untreated bipolar and borderline when he was younger, I did not entirely succeed. Once I got treatment, I started to do better. It was always my goal.
I am wondering how things are going with you. I know it's been a tough go of late. I hope you and Alice are ok.