Thursday, May 03, 2012

Domestic Violence - My Story

My blog is a place to heal, share and grow. In therapy this is what I'm working on. If one person can be helped by my story then it is worth sharing. This may be upsetting to some, so read in a safe place.

I was young and recovering from an abusive childhood. I meet my knight in shinning armor. He was tall, blonde and had big brown eyes. He told me I was cute and I ate that up. We had a whirlwind romance and were married in 6 months. What could be better? He was a preacher kid and we meet in church. 

After a short period of time he hit me in the face. What did I do? I must have deserved it. It was my fault I am sure. The next day flower came and he said he was sorry. This would never happen again but it did! This continued for awhile but things got worst.

After one of our fights I ran out of the apartment. He tackled me on the front lawn. It was no contest because he was over 6 foot and I was only 5 foot 2 inches. As he was dragging me back to the apartment a neighbor yelled at him. He replied "It's OK she's my wife". He drugged me up to the apartment, ripped my clothes off and proceeded to brutally rape me. Curled up in a fetal position I thought "It's OK she's my wife."n

I began nursing school and worked full time. People begin to question why I was covered with bruises. Of course I had fallen down stairs a number of time.  He decided to have an affair so we separated about 6 months. He had "changed" and promised he would never hit me or have an affair again. Was I stupid ? Yes!

We soon started a family. All was going well with the birth of my first child.  Two and a half years latter I became pregnant with my second child. He then started hitting me on  the top of my head and telling me how fat and stupid I was.When you are hit on the top of your head it leaves no marks.

The worst thing I remember was being shoved out of the car. As I was walking down the street bloody and confused he pulled up beside me and said " Take these damn kids". We walked to ER where I said I had a car accident. DHS was called and we spent the night in a shelter.

We then agreed something had to change. We agreed to start going to church and seeing counseling. This was wonderful. We had family dinners together, went to church together, and enjoyed the kids ball games. Unfortunately this didn't last too long.

The last beating my son called the police. I knew then this was effecting the children so it had to end. The police took the kids and I to a safe house. I filed a protective order and started the divorce proceedings. I always felt the kids were safe, but it left emotional scars. I really wish I had gotten out sooner and was not so afraid of my ex husband.I feel very lucky that I got out alive and my children were never physically injured.



Denise said...

Bless you for sharing your heart, love you.

middle child said...

I can't even imagine....but, keep leaning on the Lord.

rcubes said...

I remember when I learned about that nasty cycle of an abusive behavior when I was taking Nursing. They hit. Then, they try to be like a lamb.

I can't imagine the pain and all that pain you had to endure. And the pain to your children. What courage you have sister to tell your story and I believe, someone out there will be encouraged by this. God bless you and heal you completely.

Just Be Real said...

Thank you Wanda for speaking your voice. I am so very sorry what happened to you. It was not your fault. Safe hugs.

Chatty Crone said...

Oh Wanda - I am so sorry sweetie - you did not deserve anything at all except love. These men failed you. I hope and pray that you see that then you were a victim with no choice to be one. Now you will never be a victim again. Hugs,

Ginny said...

This is a very sad and scary story, but with a good ending. Is he still preaching? He is not fit to be a preacher and should not be counseling people or leading a flock. Hopefully your story will help others who read it! I am so glad you survived, there are many who didn't.

The Real Cie said...

He sounds a lot like my late uncle, a vicious and violent prison guard who beat the hell out of my aunt, played dirty with his daughters and nieces, and once so terrorized a neighbor child that the boy ran into the street and was killed by a car. I'm glad you got away from this man.