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Thursday, February 16, 2012
In Jail In My Head
I frequently find myself in jail of my own head. All the "bad tapes" run through my head. I can not see what others see in me. I feel dirty and unworthy of love. I blame myself for everything that happen in my childhood. I have pronounced myself guilty of being a bad mother, my son's death, being a terrible boss, and the cause of a failed marriage. I question my own self worth. I try to listen to the good things I hear, but I find those "old tapes" are so deeply ingrained in my mind that I can't set myself free. I am trying to learn new tapes. I am trying to stop the "stink en think en". I am worthy of love and it is insane to believe all those things that I have pronounced myself guilty of. Each day is a new day to restore that which has been lost.