Thursday, February 16, 2012

In Jail In My Head

I frequently find myself in jail of my own  head. All the "bad tapes" run through my head. I can not see what others see in me. I feel dirty and unworthy of love. I blame myself for everything that happen in my childhood. I have pronounced myself guilty of being a bad mother, my son's death, being a terrible boss, and the cause of a failed marriage. I question my own self worth. I try to listen to the good things I hear, but I find those "old tapes" are so deeply ingrained in my mind that I can't set myself free. I am trying to learn new tapes. I am trying to stop the "stink en think en". I am worthy of love and it is insane to believe all  those things that I have pronounced myself guilty of. Each day is a new day to restore that which has been lost.

7 comments:

Sarah (Nikki) said...

Hey Wanda...I used to feel this way all the time. I had to challenge those old messages. It'll just destroy you if you believe them . And you're worth the total best in life. Sending you a ton of hugs. Hang tight okay

Chatty Crone said...

So who has the key? Sandie

Denise said...

Sweet friend, listen to God's words. He loves you dearly, and finds you very worthy.

middle child said...

"For God so loved the world...." This includes you sweetie!

Angela said...

I was talking to my therapist about the negative messages, and how they have been there so long that it is difficult to stop them. I wish that I had an easy answer for us. We just have to keep forcing those positive messages until one day we believe them. You are an amazing and strong woman. When you tell yourself that you are not, come back and read this comment :-)

Jesus Calling said...

Safe hugs to you dear one as you go through this trial.

Wanda's Wings said...

Just testing something.