Sunday, July 05, 2009

It Is Better To Write

Right now I want to cut, so I figured writing is better. I have already been vomiting and that has not helped. I am HURTING! God just let me hang on a few more days until I see my therapist! ****TRIGGERING*****Just a child, so young. No longer feels innocent, because of his touches. She leaves her body to escape the rape. Does the child remember what he looks like? I do not. The child is blamed. She causes this. Such a sexy 6 year old. Hair of gold, jumping around. It's her fault. Soon the child is quiet. Never speaking. She just lives. It happens again and again. No one cares. As time passes the little one knows not to fight anymore. To be hit over and over and know not to cry. IT'S YOUR FAULT. YOU WANT IT YOU LITTLE WHORE. The child dies, but the body lives. She is not there anymore. Only a shell is left.


Just Be Real said...

Wanda, thank you for writing, and not cutting!!

I cannot stress how very sorry I am for the pain you are experiencing. I pray your appt. with your t. will come quickly!! Hang on dear one! If I could I would give you a safe hug, but will have to do it via internet.

((((Safe Hugs))))
sitting here with you

Ethereal Highway said...

Only a shell seems left until the little girl tries to come alive inside you. It is then that 'symptoms' happen. It happens to me, too. Maybe you should print out what you wrote here (without giving away your URL) and let your therapist see.

I wish I knew how to make it all better. I've been struggling terribly lately, too. Hang in, Wanda. And yes, it IS better to write.

Wanda's Wings said...

Just be Real- thank you for all your support.

Ethereal Highway- I am sorry you are struggling too. You had a good idea to give this to my "T"

Colleen said...

Wanda, thank you for visiting my blog and for your kind words. I am sorry for your pain. I do not have the right words but will pray for you. Hugs and blessings.

Denise said...

Good to here from you....... Have a good week... and hold tight to those promises that HE has given you...

jumpinginpuddles said...

writing does help you are right, we hope it helped keep you safe

Ethereal Highway said...

I'm cheering for you, Wanda.

Marj aka Thriver said...

I can't tell you how happy it made me to see your avatar and comment at my blog. I think of you so often, and I'm glad you are here.

I'm also glad you are writing it out, although I know how painful it is. I'm so sorry. I don't think I've ever seen anything like this written so succinctly before. Wow. Powerful.

Just remember, there is NEVER anything sexy about a tiny, little child. It was NEVER your fault.

I care. Safe, gentle hugs to you always ((((((((((((((Wanda))))))))))))))

Just Be Real said...

Just dropping by dear one. (((WW)))

therapydoc said...

Writing's MUCH better :)

'Tart said...

Dear Wanda,
I was away on vacation and yours was the first comment on my blog when I checked my email. :)

I'm so sorry for the pain you were feeling when you wrote this post. I'm so glad you wrote instead of cutting.

Never was it your fault.

Know that I am thinking of you, Wanda.