Thursday, July 15, 2010
Took Too Much Medicine
Poison Control says I took too much Clonazepam tonight.They want me to get someone to set with me or go to the hospital. Neither one of those things are an option. They are going to check on me in an hour or so to see how I'm doing. I don't want to end back back in the mental hospital again since I just got out in May. I see my the therapist tomorrow at 10:00 AM. The anxiety and the stress are getting more than I can bear. My faith is so severely shaken I don't know where to turn. I see God working miracles in others peoples lives, but I just can't feel Him. He seems to have abandoned me. I'm not feeling any of the side effects from taking too many pills, so I think everything will be okay. I feel many people have given up on me and feel I'm a lost cause. Can someone give me hope that things will get better? I so need to believe I can feel better.Years of abuse has messed me up so bad. Then losing Chris was just too much. I may have started therapy to late in my life. I had blacked so much of the horrible things out of my life. I knew something was wrong with me, but after my "nervous break down" at 18 years old I completely blocked out the past for several years. My sister and brothers had to help verify the abuse. The memories where just to terrible to seem real. I feel only a true miracle can save me. I do believe they can happen. I guess I better wait for the call from Poison Control.