Monday, May 17, 2010

Angry

My therapist tells me I am angry about my son death and this is part of the grieving process. I guess she is right. So much was left yet to do. At 27 years old he was just beginning to live. His anxiety disorder was starting to improve. When I think about it I realize that I am angry at the hospital. I do not feel he got the care he needed. I am angry at the doctors. They did not keep me informed. I do not believe they were as aggressive with his treatment as the should have been. My therapist believe I am angry at God. I believe in a God that heal the sick. Why didn't You heal Chris? Why did You let him die? Time and admitting my feelings will help me get through the grieving process. I'm taking a grieving class to help me deal with all these emotions. I still believe in God, but my faith has been shaken.

12 comments:

Andrea said...

Praying for you!
Hugs,
andrea

Blooming Psycho said...

You have every right to be angry. It is this sort of thing happening, plus a lot of judgmental dogma, that shook my faith in what most people believe about God to the core too. I do believe there is a higher power and that the energy of the personality survives the death of the body, but I am a complete agnostic as far as thinking that I know the mind of the higher powers. Still, the purpose isn't to start some sort of philosophical discussion. I just want to say I support you. I apologize for all these different online personas, I can't figure out who the heck I want to be, I guess! If you ever want to contact the real me to blow off steam, feel free to email chartley65@gmail.com

IK said...

Anger is a very natural emotion for that. Take care! *hugs* <3

Sophia said...

Hang in there, Wanda. I wish I had answers to all of your questions to God about "why", but I don't. I ask the very same ones to Him regarding things that have happened to me clear back to when I was a child. I just keep looking for the good around me and in my life, hold to it, and keep pressing forward the best I can.

Big hugs!

Just Be Real said...

Anger is all part of the process dear one. Here with you as you process and go through this time.... ((((Wanda))))

NOS said...

I don't blame you for being angry at the hospital, doctors, and God. You're going through a trauma. Allow yourself to grieve.

You're in my thoughts,
NOS

Gunz Mongleman said...

When I worked in Detox for Catholic Charities, I worked with a man whom I admired(witty, feisty guy) who had given up alcohol after being an addict most of his life. His son had died as an infant and he relayed the story to me one night. It was terribly tragic and he finished with "We've agreed to disagree on that one." refering to God and his son's death.

Ethereal Highway said...

It's okay to be angry.

Wonderingsoul said...

Angry at God?
I wouldn't blame you.
And...
I think he's big enough to handle it Wanda. Honestly I do.

With you.

xxx

sarah said...

it's true...anger is part of grieving. I'd be angry too...I"m glad you can let out your anger...Know that I'm praying for you...sarah

Just Be Real said...

Wanda came by to give you a ((((Wanda)))

jumpinginpuddles said...

(((((((((wanda))))))