Saturday, September 12, 2009

Memories


Therapy seems to be causing me to have increased memories and flash backs. The last two days has been very intense. I am having a lot of body memories. My sleep is restless and I am very tense. I believe this will be a good thing, but it is rough right now. I hoping someday total healing will come. I am hoping that remembering the abuse will open up the door for some good memories to come back also. I have almost no memories prior to my 18th birthday. I would like to think that there was some good in my childhood.

9 comments:

NOS said...

I'm sorry you've been experiencing these memories, but I think it's great that you have a positive outlook on things. I too am hoping that total healing will come to you.

And thank you for your caring comments on my blog. I can't tell you how much they mean to me.

Wishing you the best,
NOS

Dreaming again said...

there had to be *some* good that happened to you in childhood ...because you're such a good person.

Whether it be a special teacher, playtime with siblings that wasn't conflicted with parents/sibling rivalry etc.

I don't have many good memories of my sister and I ...but there are a few. Ones that I know that at least at some point in her life she had some form of decency.

When looking for the good, I'd avoid trying to fit your parents into that equation. That isn't likely to work. But looking for other memories of other situations, you might find some good even with your parents.

sarah said...

this picture is sooo sad. Makes me want to reach through cyberspace to you. It does hurt to remember. It hurts really bad. But then it gets better and there are good days too. Sometimes on the bad days, I forget about the good ones but they do come - they get stronger. Hang in there and be gentle with you. ok. Sarah

jumpinginpuddles said...

just be careful you dont get too overloaded ok

Just Be Real said...

Dear Wanda, I am so very sorry for your suffering!

Here with you listening dear one.
(((Wanda)))

Wonderingsoul said...

So sorry that it is so rough at the moment. It sounds almost as though your body is playing out some of the trauma it has experienced in the past.
That is tiring and frightening.
I'm glad you liked the song I posted so much.
I hope you too can take something from those words... Hold on. You are doing better than you know.
X

Prayer Girl said...

God bless you in your journey of healing. May angels wrap their loving arms around you and hold you close.

Prayers,
PG

Andrea said...

Praying for you as you face each memory head on while holding the hand of your Heavenly Father whom you can always trust. HE will indeed see you through.
Blessings, hugs, and prayers, andrea

Lily Strange said...

I have trouble going through therapy for fear of what it will dredge up. I wasn't molested by a stepfather in the brutal way you were. It was a more short term thing because my family moved away from the perp. I don't have any vivid memories of it. But my life has been a mess starting at that early time. I hope you are able to find healing.