Tonight I need to talk where I won't be judged. A 3-D friend really hurt me, by saying "Your just a mental case and you need to get over your past". True, I am bi-polar and have PTSD, but really. I am trying to heal from the past. She told me everyone has "bad things" happen when they are children, but only a "weak person" would let it mess up their life.
I suffered both physical and sexual abuse for several years by my step-dad. My mother did not protect me, in fact she helped. I feared for my life more than once. There was no safety for me, no one to stop the abuse. I coped by learning to leave my body. Then it wasn't real. BUT IT WAS REAL! I am getting better slowly. I may never be "normal". I just needed someone to talk with that understands. Abuse hurts.
14 comments:
hey wanda. don't let anyone tell you how you 'should' feel or be. Healing is a process. Feeling safe in the world takes time. Everytime you move forward it seems like then you're thrown back a bit. You have the right to heal at your own pace and in your own way. Sarah
Oh, you have certainly been through much. Healing and changing just isn't easy; especially when the abuse cuts so deeply. I'm sorry that you are experiencing so much pain!
Talking is good. Healing is long. But I believe in hope for better tomorrows. May GOD hold you close as you continue to heal.
Sarah,IK and Tiffany, Thank you for your encouragement and support!
Wanda,we have been blogging friends fo a while now,so I think I can say this.YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON.Do not let any one tell you different.there some of us that cannot got over the scaring as easily as others,and any one totell you other wise is not a real friend.a real frind cares about you and accept you for who you are.
Your 3D just doesn't get it. A lot of people don't. At least you do, and your friends in here get it, too.
Wanda, glad you shared about your latest concern! Everyone is different in their healing. It is a process. We are all at different parts of our journey. You continue to heal at your own speed and do not care what some ignorant people may say. They just do not understand!!
((((WW))))
Rest in your knowledge of HIM do not look to the right or the left. Rest in HIM and HE will shelter you. Man cannot go where your heart hurts, but God already lives there. HE is bringing healing and health to your body soul and spirit. Trust HIM, HE never fails.
Just found your blog. Like you I got abused by my step father and my mother knew about it. We are emotional orphans! For myself I have to say, this stupid, ignorant, senseless and careless comment of this "3-D friend" could have come from ME!!! How long have I told myself these things!!! Those are our inner and outer enemies speaking! Whilst I had behavioural therapy many years ago and improved in many ways there was always a sort of nagging around, me being a damaged good and not sufficienct in healing. Now I am having trauma therapy and it changed my world. This approach is so very diffeernt. THis is your way and only you know how fast to walk and which way to go. No one but you is walking in this shoes. Hugs across the pond
and this 3 D person would be ????
signed,
your very loving and understanding ...but rather livid (not at you)
Friend ... Pk!
Thank everyone for all their support! I guess some people just don't understand severe trauma and how much it affects you.
Honey, thats not a friend.
I was meant to find you. I just lost a friend of a few years because I somehow make her "unhappy" because of my current illnesses and her percieved perception of my not letting go. I have let go, but I have not forgotten and sometimes those freekin memories come right back at you.
Today I had to place on my blog my responsibility to AA, for AA and of AA because I'm having a hard PTSD day. Really hard.
Feels the hugs of a stranger and know that I will do my utmost to understand your feelings today.
I am so glad to see this community support of "Survivor Solidarity" here. You so deserve it, Wanda.
Unfortunately, I have found, in my own experience, that many of these "get over it and move on" folks are very wounded themselves. They are just too afraid of their own pain to look at it. This is not a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" situation. Trauma takes a lot of time and healing to "get over." You're dealing with trauma and you're doing the best you can.
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