Tuesday, March 31, 2009
What is Wrong With Me?
April is always a rough month for me. Many of the blogs I read have been very triggering and have caused me to ask myself some questions. I have been told that the key to healing is forgiveness. How do you really forgive someone that has beaten, molested, and repeatedly raped you? He is dead , so he can no longer hurt anyone. In fact he died at a very young age. I have said I made a choice to forgive him, but it seem very empty. I have no feelings except pain. No anger. What is wrong with me? It's like I can not feel anger. It's like a movie when I remember. It's me. I feel it, but I can not attach emotion to it. I feel pain for others when I hear they have been molested or raped. I become physically ill when I hear of a child that is molested. Why don't I feel anything for the little Wanda? Will I ever feel?