Sunday, March 22, 2009

NUMB


I'm feeling a little numb due to recent poor sleep patterns. I don't like being so"snappy". I am not thinking clearly and have made some bad decisions. My thought patterns are running toward the darker side and I can stop thinking about how much I dislike myself. In my head I know I am just cycling though the depressive/mixed phase of the bi-polar cycle. On top of every thing else I'm having some PTSD flashbacks of my childhood. I'm clueless as to what is triggering them unless it's the fact I have talking with my sister. I have to remember this will not last for ever. If you pray remember me, if not send good wishes this way.

9 comments:

Mike Golch said...

hang in there kiddo I've got your back with prayers.

Dreaming again said...

If memory serves, this is not a good time for you, historically?

I know we have both had issues in the past with Feb, March, April because of all the 'awareness' campaigns going on. Even if we're not conscience of it the news stories, commercials, tv shows that highlight it for the month ...all can be subliminally triggering.

Girl ..you know you're loved right?

RE: your comment on my blog. call me tomorrow (Monday or Tuesday, either one) after about 8 pm (that way I'll have school, appts and dinner out of the way) and I will update you on the whole thing.

Lily Strange said...

Sending good wishes, and I know just what you're feeling! When I used to work in the health care center I was snappy a lot because not only were my sleep patterns whack but the physical strenuousness of the work caused my fibromyalgia to pain me something terrible. I hope that you can find something that helps you stay sane inside the insanity of these damn cycles. Thank you for your kindness to me.

Just Be Real said...

I certainly can relate Wanda. Hold on dear! Blessings!

'Tart said...

I send you good wishes and prayers, Wanda. I hope you get some good sleep too.

jumpinginpuddles said...

a double whammy we hope you can ride it through

Tracy said...

Praying for you Wanda. Know that you are in my thoughts, and i hope that things look less dark soon.

Hugs

Just Be Real said...

Wanda, dropping by seeing how you are doing. Blessings.

Linda said...

your description of yourself..numb..sounds kinda like me..lack of sleep..very poor choices, major life changing stuff..fear of the unknow..read my blog..you'll see. ..anyways..hang in there..be strong..I'm trying. there's a litle more to my story than what I posted..what i choose for people not to know and not to be judged by some for Ialready am, and I figure.God is my judge.