I've seen so much happen to good people that I wonder why God allows it. I wonder why my faith seems so weak while other seem to have an unshakable faith. Why can't I feel safe? I believe God cares, yet I can't relax in His arms. I also find it hard to get close to people. Everything is so "surface". I am tired of being so sad. Right now it seems I have two moods: sad or angry. I don't like being angry. I fear anger. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I fear losing control, yet I have no control right now. I don't trust myself. I know I am not alone, yet I feel so isolated. I'm afraid to let anyone get too close. I'm worried about everything. I can't relax. I'm making mistake, having lapses in time. I'm no fun to be with. Where has jolly Wanda went? Do others ever feel like this? I want to help others, but I can not seem to help myself.