Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Why


I've seen so much happen to good people that I wonder why God allows it. I wonder why my faith seems so weak while other seem to have an unshakable faith. Why can't I feel safe? I believe God cares, yet I can't relax in His arms. I also find it hard to get close to people. Everything is so "surface". I am tired of being so sad. Right now it seems I have two moods: sad or angry. I don't like being angry. I fear anger. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I fear losing control, yet I have no control right now. I don't trust myself. I know I am not alone, yet I feel so isolated. I'm afraid to let anyone get too close. I'm worried about everything. I can't relax. I'm making mistake, having lapses in time. I'm no fun to be with. Where has jolly Wanda went? Do others ever feel like this? I want to help others, but I can not seem to help myself.

5 comments:

Jade said...

Wanda there's not a person alive that hasnt had something tragic happen in their lives. It's just part of the rough and tumble world we live in. Its not something God allows, just something that happens.
As far as your emotional and mental health, keep working at it Wanda. Keep your T appointments, take your meds, and exercise when you can.
Remember, you're never alone when you have people out in the world praying for you and sending thoughts your way.

keepers said...

Hello Wanda

Your words are not new words to us, we have said them, we have heard them from others, and now from you. it seems to go along with the territory. like jade says though, you have a heck of a lot of people pulling for you and praying for you, feel free to contact any of us when you feel up to it.

peace and blessings

keepers

wolfbaby said...

I hope things get better soon.

hugs

Marj aka Thriver said...

((((((Wanda)))))) I think you help others just by being you, being honest, and speaking your truth. I know about the isolation, but I also know we help each other through this blogging community. Here, we can validate, support and comfort each other. And I thank God for that!

jumpinginpuddles said...

Yepo feel liek ti al lthe time, you know the smile you put omn when the tears are close behind, we dont get God eitehr sometimes so cant answer that one, we are mostly these days just sad sad sad but we produce happy happy happy for anyone becasue its nicer fro them. Maybe youve done better than us at least you cna show sad wanda, and in that re being honest