Sunday, November 05, 2006

Triggers


I don't understand why everything seems to be triggering my past and the abuse right now. Everytime I turn around something is setting me into a tailspin and I'm reliving my past. I feel very emotional right now. I feel panic and have a hard time grounding myself. It's not just the normal triggers, but it seems like little things are throwing me into an emotional fit. Seeing any father with a small child gives me cold chills. I am crying at the simplest thing. I seem to be disassociating more often. I'm finding I want to withdraw and avoid people.I'm isolating myself more and more. I'm trying to make myself keep in contact with others, but it is so hard. I know there are people that care about me, but I can not seem to reach out to them for help. I don't even know why I'm feeling this way, but I can not shake it. I can not even talk to the new therapist about what is going on. I almost feel like I'm losing my mind. If anyone has any suggestions, please give them to me. I feel so out of control.

8 comments:

Dreaming again said...

yep ...lunch tomorrow

Raine said...

my suggestion is to copy what you just wrote and show it to the therapist if you cant tell her in words

Jade said...

Wanda,
It very well could be that you've come to a "uphill slope" in your emotional processing. It happens, I know many people, including myself that have experienced what you are experiencing. It could also be that maybe you're really needing to talk about some stuff (even if you've already talked about it before) Sometimes stuff has to be processed, and then reprocessed, and then have an occasional "tune up" process. Just talk as much as you can, write as much as you can, dont allow the dark cloud to make you stagnant. Acknowledge the things that trigger you, dont try and repress the feelings you get when triggered. But also at the same time...if you are able to,tell yourself that you're ok, and that you are in the present. I am a HUGE advocator for writting. Write, write, write is my advice.Within writing I find that much more honesty comes out than if you were speaking. You will be in my prayers Wanda. And if there's anything I can do to help you please let me know.
Stay strong, this too shall pass.

mysti said...

It sounds like you are in the process of healing Wanda. I know it does not sound like it... I am with raine on this one , I think you should copy this down and show it to your T. Jade is also right. I was going to suggest the same thing. Do a lot of writing. Write as much of what you are feeling down. Journaling is a wonderful tool for working out flashbacks.

Know that I am thinking of you and praying for you!

(((Wanda)))

Wanda's Wings said...

Thanks DA, Raine, Jade, & Mysti,

This has been going on too long. I going to follow your suggestion and take some in writting to my therapist.

Jade said...

good to hear Wanda. Hopefully you can get some good feedback from it all. You're in my prayers. (((Wanda)))

Sunnie Dee said...

I don't really have any other suggestion other then what has already been said.

I hope you get a break from the triggers soon I know they can really make life very hard.

cheesemeister said...

It's tough when the memories come, either in the mind or through the emotions. I can only wish you peace and best wishes in getting through this.