Merry Christmas Chris

Chris,
         Hi baby! This is your third Christmas in Heaven. I can only imagine how beautiful it must be. Alice and I went to see the Christmas lights at Rhema tonight. Do you remember when you were little and tripped over the lights and unplugged them? Today it makes me smile when I think about it. I could feel you watching down on us as we took the drive tonight.
          You always loved Christmas. I have so many beautiful memories of the good times we had! You were a Christmas present shaker always trying to guess what was under the tree. Do you remember me putting canned food in your present to fool you? I have always been a little crazy haven't I? lol
           Alice and I are planning a quite Christmas. Your Aunt Sallie might come for dinner but we are not sure. Dinner will be turkey and the fixing.
            I miss you so much but am so thankful for the 27 years we had. You have given me so many wonderful memories. I just wish I could hug and kiss you again. You keep that computer system in Heaven running smoothly. Until I see you again know that I love you!

Love,
        Little Moma

Friday the 13th And 12 Days To Christmas

What a Friday the 13th it has been in Tulsa. A major water line break downtown has shut down a couple of streets and flooded several business. There was also a train wreck that derailed several cars. It was loaded with new cars! What a mess.

Been wrapping Christmas presents today so it makes the tree look better. I think I have one present under the tree that will surprise Alice. She has really been in the decorating mood this year. We have a tree, a skating rink, an angel, and Victorian lady. Oh I almost forgot the three snowmen.

This time of the year can be hard since I lost Chris. I know he is in heaven watching down on us.
 

Winter Is Here

Broken Arrow has been in a winter storm. We got 6 inches of snow last night compared to Tulsa 4.6.  The bad part is the temperature is going to drop down to 2 degrees tonight. Now that is cold! I am so thankful for my dear friends that had their kids treat our ramp and front porch. The city is doing a good job on the main roads but we live off the beaten track. Some stores are even running out of bread, milk, and eggs!

My knee is getting better. It is still sore. I was hoping by this time it would be better than it is. Alice is cooking right now and we are just taking it easy.

Update

Just checking in with all my friends. I am about 5 weeks post op of my total knee replacement. This time has been much more difficult than the last one. I guess it is my age and the fact the knee was in much worst shape than the first one. My sister in law fell about a week a go and need the same surgery. I will be spending Tuesday in the hospital with her. She is about 9 years older than me so it might be a bit rough.

It is hard to believe Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Alice and I are planning the basic Thanksgiving dinner. We will take a plate to my sister in law since she will be recovering post op.   Most of my family live several states to the north of me. My best friend is planning a big family get together. She is a great cook and so is her daughter. Remember to give thanks.

GLAD IT'S TURKEY DAY!

Scary

This government shut down is getting scary!

I Am Home

I am finally home from the hospital! They had talked about a rehab hospital but I really wanted to go home. I will be having home health come to my house for a while until I am healed better. I am glad the surgery is done. In a few weeks things will even be better,

UGH

I can't do anything simple! I had the surgery on the knee 3 days ago. The feeling has not come back in my leg so I am unable to stand. I have a sever kidney infection that they have called in a specialist for.  am just ready for this to be all over! I will keep everybody updated. Thanks for your support.

Stress

Right now I am feeling quite stressed. The auto accident in April has added a lot of finical stress. I have had a lot of medical bills plus a car payment that I did not have before the accident. I am pulling my hair out of my head.

I am scheduled for surgery on Thursday. There was significant injury from the auto accident plus damage caused by my lupus. They are going to do a total joint replacement. I am hoping this will relive some pain and help my mobility.

What does everyone think about the government shut down. I has been a long time since the last time this happened. I guess I had better finish my grocery list. Take care.

Pain And Guilt

.The last 3 and half years I have been eaten up with pain and guilt. Today is a real bad day. I feel I should have been able to do SOMETHING to have prevented Chris death. Maybe it was a mistake letting him be put on a ventilator. Would his body fought the infection more? I love him so much. Did I do all I could? I j ust want to hold him in my arms and tell him how much I love him.. DEATH SUCKS1

Looking For Energy

I was hoping losing some weight would give me more energy but so far not so. I guess the lupus is just not that well controlled right now. I have been working on reorganizing my kitchen cabinets but can only do a small amount of time because it causes of so much pain in my arms and shoulders. I'm am so short I have to reach for everything!

I saw my psychiatrist today and he said managing my bipolar disorder was like trying to balance a large ball on a thin wire. We both laughed and I told him I was sorry I was such a pain. He reassured me that I was not the problem that my illness was.

Only 2 weeks until my knee surgery. It would be nice to loose a couple more pounds but I am really stuck. I am trying to eat healthy and not some crazy crash diet this time. I know I have lost 1000 lbs in my life!  It was nice to hear from everyone. Take care. 

Been A Long Time

It's been a long time since I have blogged. In fact it has been so long I didn't think I was going to get the account opened!

This has been a summer of health problems. I had several dental issues that were quite expensive. Things are improving in that area now.  About 2 months ago my heart went into an irregular rhythm. I have been seeing a cardiologist who has got things back to normal. I was in a auto accident in April that did significant damage to my left knee. I had not been able to get the knee repair because of the dental and heart issues. Today I have finally got dental and cardiac clearance! Surgery is now scheduled for Oct 3rd. I have been under so much stress they have also been having a hard time with my bipolar disorder. What a roller coaster!

It is amazing how a few minutes can really change so many things in your life. We were hit by an uninsured motorist. It totaled the car and I only had liability insurance on the car. Needless to say the car had to be replaced. Now I have a car payment. Ugh. Medical bills, oh my. I still feel blessed because things could have been much worst.

I have lost 30 lbs which is a good thing. Will talk again soon.
    

My Brain Is Fried

My brain is fried! It just seems like so much is going on. I am keeping super busy but my body is protesting. I can't believe I'm letting stress get the better of me. I'm not sleeping and I think that is part of the problem. I just got to take time to RELAX!

Much different than last Spring we have been getting a fair amount of rain. When it's not raining it is very humid. We have already had several days with heat index of over 100. Thank goodness my air conditioner is working!

I really need to do some laundry. That's a job that is never done. I have also started a project of cleaning out some of my old clothes. I have things I haven't worn in years. 

I will try to do better about blogging and visiting everyone's blog. I will TRY!

Give Thanks

Just want to list some things I'm thankful for.

1. Jesus loves me
2. My family
3. My freinds
4. I was approved for a used car loan
5. My new car gets 30 mile per gallon in city driving
6. I'm losing weight
7. We were safe through all the Oklahoma tornados

Two Months Later

 

Two months later I am still feeling the effects of the automobile accident. The wheel feel off the car. Thank goodness we weren't going too fast! It happened in front of a dealership who actually give me money for a trade in on a used car. A car payment was NOT in the plans! Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. It's an 09 Hyundai Accent. It would not have been my first choice but it will do. I am still a nervous wreck every time I drive. Two accidents that close together would make anyone nervous.

I had two MRI's this week and both showed damage. My left knee is really messed up and my neck has disc damage.  My doctor said we would discuss surgery at my next appointment. This accident keeps on giving and giving. Funny thing is that I thought the pain I was having was just my "normal" pain.

I have been so hyper and anxious the last several days. My psychiatrist order a lithium  level on me to see if that is OK, Well between PT and my doctors appointments that is all I do.

I really have to be thankful that things were not worst.

Ugh

Does anyone else have trouble with call centers? I have had to call three times for the same problem and they still can't get it right! On top of that you get someone you can't understand. Finally I asked for a supervisor to see if the can fix the problem.

It is so muggy today. We went to some garage sales today and only spent  only13 dollars for a nice computer desk.  Such a deal!

I fell today. I don't understand why but when I'm having a lupus flare I have trouble walking.

Gas Prices

I knew I should have filled the tank yesterday.  It went up 15 cents a gallon over night! It has gone up 25 cents a gallon in a week. Is anyone else having this problem?

Sun Light

The sun is shinning to day so I spent a little time outside. Sunshine is good for the mood so I went for it. I'm getting more range of motion back in my shoulder and hip since I have been going to PT.  My left knee is still very stiff and sore. I still can not fully straighten it. Over all I am getting better.

Thankful today that a group from church are moving my grass.

Where My Mind Is

fear

anxiety

confusion

sadness

darkness

fatigue

depression

Struggling

I have been struggling the last several weeks. It has been hard to blog or do anything that I really enjoy. I have been in a lot more pain since the two motor vehicle accidents. I think that is playing on my emotions. They are starting physical therapy next week on my shoulder and hip. I am hoping to get back some range of motion in both.  I took a short walk today. I think that was good for me. It was very cool, almost cold, outside today. It is good to get out of the house.

Spring

The weather has been crazy this spring. It's 80-90 today.  Tomorrow it's only going to be in the 40's. Our air conditioner is out so the cool front will be welcome. My allergies have been going crazy! It is Spring.