Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Who Would I Have Been?

If the abuse had not of happen, who would I have been. I am a very kind person who hate to see injustice to any human. I care deeply. I don't trust people easily. I don't like myself much. My faith is weaker than it should be. I have spent thousands of dollars on therapy. I am still hurting. I still have the nightmares. I am flawed. I am still alive. I have not totally given up. I still fight for the right. I HAVE ISSUES! Eating disorder,SI,plus a chemical imbalance. Will I ever know who I am? I feel so alone, but God says He will never leave or forsake me.


Andrea said...

For me, I think most of us will have issues til the day we die. We live in an imperfect world.
Most certainly, GOD will not leave you or forsake you. You may feel alone, but know you are NOT.
Praying GOD will give you peace and heal your heart and mind.

Prayer Girl said...

What would this world be like without God?

There is so much evil here - like what happened to you and happens to countless others.

Often, the only thing that keeps us going is prayer and faith and trust in God. And God is faithful to us, hears us, and answers prayer.

We are with you,

Zan said...

I have often looked in the mirror asking myself the same question. I've often thought in anger.. "You made me who I am today!".. but, then I realised... isseues and problems aside, I am quite glad that I can understand other survivors and where they are coming from.. I try to look at the positive side of me, and try to think.. it's because of the abuse that I have such a big and open hert.
I know you'd love for the issues to pass.. and hopefully one day you will heal.
Believe in yourself and remember you are never alone.
Big hugs!

sarah said...

I wish I had a wand that would fix all this for you, for me, for all of us. I like that some of what you wrote were some great awesome things about you. Praying for you - Sarah

Lily Strange said...

I feel the same way. Who could I have been? It's very sad sometimes. I had a bad day with my ED and self-abuse.

Paula said...

I took me many years to accept the abuse. that my mother delivered me to my step father and that I felt like rubbish. 20 yeras ago I went to fist therapy - improved somewhat and partly developed form there. Partly however. I am grateful that I embark on a Intense Taruma Therapy on Monday and I will do all what is possible to better myself. it is rather seldom that I ask myself how I would have turned out without teh abuse. I have given up on that and learned to love myself. I dont say it is easy. Love to you, mill of safe hugs from Germany