I'm feeling exhausted these days. Too many things going on at one time. I think my mood is more stable than it was. I've been cleaning out closets and packing. It is totally amazing what you collect over ten years. I am throwing stuff out right and left. I figure if I haven't used it in two-three years that I don't really need it. I'm hurting like a BIG DOG right now from all the packing. We aren't moving until the first of October, but that is only 5 weeks. My last appointment with my doctor is on the seventh of this month.I am going to miss him something terrible! I so afraid I won't click with the new one which is set up for October. When I slow down I still feel sad, so I'm trying to keep busy and not think about everything.
I'm fighting depression right now due to all the changes in my life. I am really scared about what is going to happen next and if I will be able to stay in touch with reality. I am really struggling with the desire to SI. I know there are people that care about me, but I am pulling into my shell more and more. I want to make sure I am doing the right thing. I can't believe how unsure of myself I am right now. What is wrong with me?
Right now I am struggling with my life in general. Too many losses in less than a year. I just found out my physician is leaving and I am going to have to find someone else to see. I'm not over losing my pastor yet! Now someone else that I trust is going to be unavailable to me. I'm also going to lose my house. Being on disability is not enough to make the payment. I keep trying to put on a happy face, but I'm not doing too good of job at it. I feel so abandoned. My faith is weak right now. I'm trying to be strong but I'm not quite making it. Maybe it just the time of year for things to be going wrong. I do know I am not alone, but it still feels that way.
It has been wild and crazy in my life. I'm not sure if I am coming or going. I have missed seeing and talking to every body on line. It been really hot here. Over 100 for the last few days. So "HI" and good wishes to everyone!
