Thursday, June 28, 2007

Tagged With A Story To Tell


This post might be triggering to some, but it is important to tell the story before we respond to the "tag".
We grew up in two separate households. Part of the time we lived with my very abusive Mom and Step dad, part of the time we were with my very religious Grandmother. The different in the houses were night and day, but both were very frighten for us. My oldest brother and younger sister always lived with my Grandmother,where as the youngest brothers always live with the parents.I was pasted back and forth. We feared hell and damnation for the smallest offense. My childhood with my parents was a nightmare of hell on earth. There was sexual,physical, mental,and spiritual abuse. At a very early age I became what was expected of me. Parts of me would rebel only to find totally painful abuse. The abuse was tolerated by separating myself from the pain. Parts of me could not believe that there was a god, however remembering the black figures and the pain made me know there was a devil. The abuse last from the age of 4-16 when thankfully my step dad died. Cold, wounded, and fragmented I could not wait to get out of the house. My ideas of God and Jesus were distorted to say the least. I wanted nothing to do with a "god" that could not protect children. Jesus did not give up on me. He was always there, but we could not see or believe in Him. I now have a Christian doctor and a Christian therapist. My former pastor showed love to a very cold and bitter person. We are healing now. It slow and sometimes painful, but it is happening.

Five things we dig about Jesus.
  1. Jesus accepts you just the way you are.
  2. You can tell Him your mad at Him, but He still loves you.
  3. He understands all your moods and personalities and still loves every part of you.
  4. When you are alone you can call His name and feel His presents and comfort.
  5. He makes life worth living.

9 comments:

wolfbaby said...

thank you

hugs

MYSTI said...

:) Blessings my friend.

Mysti

Jade said...

:-) Hmmm I dig the same things about Him.

jumpinginpuddles said...

well done for posting this thankyou

keepers said...

Dear Wanda

How brave of you to tell us some of your background, you deserved to be treated so much better then and now. Take care and know so many of us out here are thinking of you.

peace and blessings

keepers

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

HI,
I just dropped by to say hello. I got your name from dr. deb's blog. Your post was very alarming. It's nice to know that you were able to overcome all your hellish experiences of youth. And it's also wonderful that you found Jesus and have a very healthy relationship with Him right now. Can I invite you to my own blog- Random Thoughts. I'm a Christian like you.

God bless you with all the wonderful things God has in store for you.

Cheesemeister said...

I think Jesus is wonderful but I hate fundamentalist Christianity for the very reasons you mentioned in this post. I really don't think fundamentalist Christianity has anything to do with the kindness and peace of Jesus. It is very judgmental. I don't know who those people are listening to but it ain't him! I am glad that you were able to know the blessing of his kind spirit even in your darkest times. This is a very positive thing.

Marj aka Thriver said...

i saw this meme circulating around. I would have had to explain some things myself if I'd have been tagged with it and put up a post. I hate what some people do in the name of "christianity," but I do still wish we could all be like Jesus. He really knew the meaning of unconditional love and "walked the talk."

Paul M. McLaughlin said...

Paul M. McLaughlin
Elizabeth SEVEN McLaughlin
Stop Child Abuse NOW!
298 Hunington Ave.
Eugene, Oregon 97405-4055

'I Was Loved In The Midst Of Suffering' True Short Story About Paul Mc...
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Hills/6100/story5.html

Stop Child Abuse Now
A nonprofit organization dedicated to stopping child abuse of all forms,
and improving the lives of survivors of all types of abuse and loss.

Photos of Paul and his Family. Time Capsule for the year of 2047.
http://www.efn.org/~scan/paulpics.html