Friday, June 15, 2012

You Were Always There For Me

When taking Chris to the hospital before we knew how ill he was he said some of the most precious words I could have ever heard from my child. "You know little Mama you have always been there for me."  Here is what those words from Chris mean to me.

When I was a baby and needed fed, my diaper changed, a warm bath, or someones arms to cuddle in. You were always there for me.

As I became a toddler after my busy days. I needed my glow worm, a hug, and a bedtime story. You were always there for me.

I became older.  My bobo's needed kissed. I needed to know right from wrong. When I needed comfort from the loud fights and I needed to know I was loved. You would hold and kiss me. You were always there for me.

My first day of school. What an event!  New clothes, a backpack, my pencils and crayons. You walked to school with me holding my hand. A quick hug was all I needed. After school you picked me up and listen to my experiences of my first day.  Yes you were always there for me.

And then there was baseball. The games, the practices, the excitement, and the fun. The work all to get on base. Shortstop or pitcher it didn't matter to you. The pitcher mound you built in our back yard. I would wind up on the mound and you would try to catch my balls, fast, slow or wild. The ball on the pole you would swing for me to hit. The batting cages. Even my broken thumb. You were always there for me.

School could be a challenge. It was hard for me to sit in my seat. The school play. You were so proud of your little actor.  You helped me with math. You went to school conferences. You were always there for me.

As I became more independent. As I spread my wings.  My new job, new car, and ulcers. School at home. My new eating disorder. You gave me the space I needed. But still you were always there for me.

When I broke your heart and moved to Dallas to live with my dad.  You would drive halfway to Texas to make sure I had the food to eat because of my eating disorder. You were always there for me.

My long distance love. When  I made mistakes. When I moved back home. You were always there for me.

As anxiety took over my life.  When I found I could no longer work.  When I could not leave my room. You worked with me to get me help. The more I isolated myself. The more fear I had. The more I needed to be safe. You were always there for me.

As I started getting better. As I would be able to mow the lawn without a panic attack.  As I worked for Nvidia. When I took a risk to to make a trip to Nvidia. You were always there for me.

When I came home very sick. When they put me on a ventilator. You were there by my side. I could feel you softly rubbing my arm and singing to me.  When my weaken body gave up and I left this  life. As always you were there for me. Thank you little Mama for always caring and being there for me. I could always depend on you. I love you little Mama.

6 comments:

Sarah (Nikki) said...

Those memories will carry you Wanda....some days they make you feel as if you're breaking...but still...he will live for always through you. Sending you higs

Denise said...

God bless you.

Chatty Crone said...

Wanda I love how you worth this and opened up! I love hearing about Chris and some of your life with him.

And he left you with such a wonderful message.

You know life is fragile Wanda - here one minute and gone the next so fast.

I am so glad that you had his love and that you were there for him.

Love, sandie

Bluebird49 said...

Oh Wanda--it's been almost 14 years since I lost my daughter, Sherry. She was 31, and we were best friends, and mother and daughter...and I so know how you feel. It is such a privilege to be a mom, isn't it. And we know where those children are now, and as for me--I can't wait to be in Heaven with them! I'll bet you feel the same way!
hugs, Trudy

Raine said...

(((Wanda))))

Dreaming again said...

So beautiful .. I'm so honored to have met Chris.

You were always there for him ... always and his great heart showed that.

One of the sweetest moments ever was you 2 showing up on our doorstep during the power outage with the ice storm because he had to know we were ok .. our safety was more important to him than his anxiety. Your love taught him that kind of empathy.

He was a treasure, and he is missed and you are loved.