Saturday, May 07, 2011

Having Trouble Today

I am having emotional trouble today. I can not stop thinking of Chris. I tried reading some blogs and they are about Mother's Day.  This has always been a difficult day for me, but now that I have lost my youngest child it is almost unbearable. My thoughts are dark and scary. I might email my therapist because I don't really trust myself.
I celebrate Alice and my love for her. It is what is keeping me going, She says a card is in the mail and that will mean the world to me. Why does this have to be so hard? Holding on for dear life.


10 comments:

Karen said...

Praying for strength and comfort for you...my MIL lost her middle child this past October, so she is experiencing some of the same feelings...may God bless your hearts in the way only He can...with peace and reassurance...

Tracy said...

This is hard Sweetie, because life is hard at times. I don't know the why's or the how's of any of it but I do know from past experiences that things happen for a reason unbeknownst to us.
I think it is a good idea to e-mail your therpaist and let her know you are on shaky ground...reach out to others and keep yourself busy. Have a plan in case you do want to do something drastic.
You are in my thoughts and prayers...

Bluebird49 said...

Of course this is a hard day for you, Sweetie! I remember the very first Mother's Day after we lost our daughter in 1998--I didn't think I'd make it through that year. I still miss her all the time--and this year is the first Mother's Day without Mama...so, it will be a doubly sad day for me, too.

I hope you will e-mail you therapist--maybe you can get some help for this weekend!

Mollye said...

Hey Wanda, Happy Mother's Day to you. Yes for me too. The first Mother's Day since Jake was killed. But I have three other children who want to feel as if I love them too so I can't re-live Jake's death on this day. Also my Mom has been gone now 23 years and I sure miss her. I am going to the horse races tomorrow with my oldest daughter and we're just gonna have a blast! I love you and will be thinking of you and BTW.........I think it would be awesome for you to go back to school! Great idea from your friend.

RCUBEs said...

Happy Mother's Day sister despite the pain you're going through. I know it's never easy. May the Lord's strength and comfort always cover you. Be strong sister. Always be strong. God bless.

sarah said...

wanted to come by and wish you a Peaceful mother's day..praying for you Wanda...to feel His peace holding you....

Sophia said...

I'm sorry to hear of your recent struggles. It must be "in the wind", as I've been struggling, too. Feeling alone, unwanted, lonely, empty....but doing my best to cling to God. Hang in there Wanda. Even when I don't write, I'm always thinking of you. Hugs!!

Chatty Crone said...

I'm thinking of you too - and praying for you to be able to handle tomorrow. sandie

NOS said...

(((Wanda)))

Thinking of you.

NOS

Faycin A Croud said...

My deepest sympathies on this holiday. I can only imagine the pain it brings. I hope that the heavens send you peace.