Saturday, June 27, 2009
It is so hard to believe 12 years of sexual abuse from childhood still controls my life. The pain is so real today. I hurt to the point of being physically ill. Nothing has stopped the pain. I cut, it is only a short distraction. Are there people that can never heal? Never sleep without the nightmare? So much money must go to the healing process, that poverty is my way of life. I read on another blog that if mental ill people would just let Jesus in everything would be okay. I do believe in Jesus, but my pain is still REAL! I remember telling my doctor. I thought you could not have PTSD and be bi-polar. She smiled at me and told me she was the doctor and I am text book classic of both. My feeling are running so deep and the pain is so real, I just had to post.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
I was able to visit some blog yesterday and catch up on some of my friends. It was good. I ran out of energy,so I had to stop. I'm on all new meds. They are talking about ECT. My bi-polar is still not under control. They say I MUST start working on the PTSD stuff if I going to get any better. I exhausted. Thank everyone for being there for me!