Friday, April 13, 2007

Broken Inside


It's raining and cold and my mood seems to match the dark skies. I just decided to write what we are feeling as if no one will read this. There is a deep loneliness that nothing can fill. Yet I isolate from those I call friends. I'm not to sure why anyone would want to be my friend. I feel I have so little to offer. I hurt when others around me hurt and can feel their pain, but seem to have little to give others. So many voices inside of me tell me it not worth it. So much sadness that I can find a way out. There has to be a path that will bring me out of this. There must be an answer somewhere. If I knew what was causing the problem I would work on it. Broken inside is the best way to describe the feelings. Dark,cold, and alone. It's hard to get out of bed. It's hard to pick up the phone. It's hard to even move.

9 comments:

Jade said...

Depression is hard sometimes Wanda. But you're doing some really positive things about it. You're writing to get the feelings out, and your processing your thoughts about it. Both positive things in my opinion. Its good that you share this with us through blog, but also make sure your Rx doc is aware of your moods, as well as your counselor so that adjustments can be made if needed. We're here for you and support you all the way girl!

jumpinginpuddles said...

we like you feel ike we are no one with nothign o ffer and if anything else once being friends with us youll change you mind and undecide so whats the point of trying! We do get this blog

wolfbaby said...

many many hugs.. you are such a good friend and have so much to offer... you are the most compassionet person i know... i hope you are feeling better soon.. my thoughts and prayers are with you.

keepers and john said...

broken inside conveys great pain and hurt which we are sure you are feeling. seems a lot of our blogging friends are going through this and we were also the last several weeks. Times like these are so darned difficult and unbearable to get through.

safe hugs to you

peace and blessings

keepers and john

Fallen Angels said...

I totally relate t this Wanda. I feel this way more often than not. Keep writing...even if you can't get yourself out of the isolation, we are reading and hearing you. You might also want to bring this up with your T.((((Wanda_etal))))

Raine said...

Depression sucks ((((Wanda)))

Dreaming again said...

hey! this just showed up on my feeder! I didn't know you'd even posted!!!

If I'd seen this ... I'd have chased you down on Sunday ..no wonder you stayed half way across the church from me. *grimacing*

Stop isolating. I love you. I know why I'm your friend ...because I think you're a wonderful person and a terrific friend!!!

Dr. Deb said...

I have been feeling almost the very same things today and yesterday.

Cheesemeister said...

I have nothing to give others, yet I want to give you my wishes that you will feel better.